fcked up cny
Before CNYi'm feeling it already, the excitement for Chinese New Year i.e the shark fin soup as starter for dinner but it surely isn't all about the soup. family gathering and the only person who holds the family together is my grandmother. ang pow and this year, like every other year my grandmother's ang pow would be a lucky pick that is 1 rm200, 2 rm100, 3rm60 and the rest are rm20. i shall know how's my luck for this year in 2 hours time. decorated and welcoming house which i had put in loadsa effort okay! i doubt the pussy willow will blossom by tomorrow the fact that we bought it quite late and that we're using water instead of ice. well, if only we had a bigger vase =P
bi~ bi~'s back to his hometown, Segamat in Johore and i'm missing him already. *sad
we meet each another everyday since we got together excluding some exceptional days which accumulate to less than a week. =( i'm sure he misses me badly as well.. wakakaka...
can't wait for you to be back, bi~!
During CNY...
as some already know, i'm not very keen in gambling anymore but then again, chinese new year wouldn't be the same without gambling so i just play along. we used to play with coins but now syillings are "prohibited", even my brothers are betting with 10 bucks on black jack. kids nowadays also know the term high risk, high return =.-
poh yee left for australia yesterday and yes i cried. i make your life easier, you don't have to go around and ask who cried that day. i'm sick of KLIA already and i still remember the day i left for National Service. when i first step into KLIA i was like "ohhh and ahhhh" but now, itz like "here again" the fact that we park at the same parking lot and use the same escalator everytime we send somebody off. and as it is, i would always think "when's my turn?"
poh yee, i'm glad i'm one of the people you would confide in but all we can give u are just advises and guidances. i'm sure you're expecting something ahead of you, be it bad or good as long as you believe in the path you've chosen, there shouldn't be any remorse.
one thing i missed out saying to you when we embraced, "Let you be proud of yourself"
we're your bunch of supportive friends! =)
i couldn't care much anymore when i finally realised how important am i to my friends. i might not be all right but guess what, you all really hurt me. when i could actually feel invisible for few seconds, it was a stab right through my heart. who am i to you all? i don't care if you all don't know how to adjust to changes, but oh please at least, respect me and my friends. i'm sorry but i'm not sure if sorry can really heal the cut.
am i not good enough for you? i've done all i could and if you really expect more from me, a thank you or appreciation will do good. maybe i haven't put in my best to take care of you but i'm not sure what else i could do. i'm sorry babe i'm crying again but the tears flow down without a damn warning. i hope i could erase some part of the conversation for it affects me so much. don't call me crazy, but you've changed. i used to be excited when a message pop up and it's from you but nowadays, none of them is significant. you assure me your love but i couldn't sense it already unless we embrace. call me senso or whatever, this feeling is conquering me and i'm going mad.
written randomly....
posted by JoannE @ 3:05 AM
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