t h e y d o n ' t k n o w m e

miri part one

2008-09-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

hello all the way from MIRI!!!!

the night before i left was a long night. imagine having a couple of beers and whiskies and you board the plane with this miserable pain a.k.a gastric and your breathe still stinks with alcohol PLUS a lil tipsy-ness. perfect for sleeping? not at all. i was dead tired and managed to get a pretty good seat beside the window but my eyes were too tired for any views. the first hour was alright cause i manage to sleep. then later on, i was awaken by some noise near my seat. a lady was playing "one two juss/juice/juz" with her children. fine. i tried sleeping back but couldn't because the guy seating one seat away from me started on his own ochestra. great. so i went browsing on the magazines provided and when i saw the menu, i couldn't stop drooling. the pain then got more unbearable. =/ pak nasser's nasi lemak looked oh so sedap in the menu. i shut the menu and flipped through another magizine promoting places of asia. i really really wanna go Bali for holidays, a week at least. but i'm so BROKE now. seriously, chui is oficially broke.
she needs a reload in her poor wallet. so what if its burberry? -.- my mum was right. who cares if you are using a designer wallet, its the amount of notes you have in there that matters!
dayamnnn....

after having breakfast with shal at A1 restaurant ("the" breakfast place) we went back and all i remember was i fell asleep within seconds. dead tired! i got up in time for dinner and we had our dinner with damien and samsons at Lou Bin tan, this makan place near shal's house.
and later at night the party started! =)

at island bar

at cherrie berries

after drinking, we moved on with supper and i had "kueh chap", a local food here in Miri.

"kueh chap"

this is good shit(particularly with beer at especially low price). the soup is similar to bak kut teh and you all know how much i love bak kut teh ;)

after licking the end of the bowl, we called it a night =)

i slept like a pig that night. the next day we went to check out some potential hotels where shal plans to celebrate her 21st.

view by the beach at Marriot Hotel

the view is awesome-mo. even if you are not emotional at all, you'll just hit the button right away when you see such great view. by the way, did i mention we missed the sun set? lol.. we "purposely" missed it. wait for phei chuen mah.. haha

the next day, shal and i had dinner at BBQ Pork at don't-know-where.

they have pork meat, pork ears, pork intestines, pork tongue (wtf?) pork liver and the can never be more normal chicken wings. side orders will be pork nose, pork eyes and pork tail.(just kidding) oH and you can actually specially request for pork brain if you think you're too smart =)

shal and i decided to go with the normal cuisine. pork meat, pork intestines and chicken wings along with 3 for RM10 carlsberg.

after dinner, shal went for her group discussion in her uni and i was in her room counting sheeps.
and when she got back, we went out for supper! lol .. "kolo mee" also their local cuisine.

seriously, if i don't gain weight by the end of this trip, it'll be a miracle.
i have been eating and sleeping like a piG!!!

that's all for my first 3 days at miri!

....to be continued....

p/s its 5am now and we're going out for more food! ... shal says the warm soyabean is another good shit ; )

had ur nutritious drink yet?

2008-08-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

my dad made us apple+carrot(weird combinations but yea, its about the love, yo!) juice yesterday =)

while drinking it with my brother just now,

joe: hey, you see my juice, darker wan..

me: how come? you add very little water only izzit?

joe: nolar, i got secret recipe.

me: what izzit?

joe: *point to the pepsi can* i added pepsi.

me: *swt* it supposed to be a nutritious drink la, you dumb fuck!

joe: sedap la....

i wish i could be with my sisters

2008-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

when i took a look outside the lecture hall this afternoon at 2pm, the weather was all gloomy and it looked as though the night had taken place early. felt like it was already 8pm. the stupid weather affected my mood. we could all predict that it was going to rain heavily and the trees will 'tumbang' on the cars parked outside the college once again just like how it happened last year. well, it only rained heavily. =) during our half an hour break, despite the rain, i insisted on going to "Mc D's drive thru" as my stomach was growwwling. after satisfying myself with nuggets and fries, i instantly became a happy girl. i thanked myself for sleeping early yesterday night. my thursdays class is the longest and most of the time during my last class, my eyes will be half opened (by force) and my mind will black out simultaneously. today is different =) this whole week, i have to say i'm proud of myself for having enough of sleep, at least 7 hours everynight (the result of not taking afternoon nap, perhaps?)

i'm starting to love coming back home. my dad and i are in talking terms already and it was really funny during dinner just now. my dad asked if we want to see magic -.-
and my brothers and i instantly said no. haha
he was like "why nobody believes me?" = )

i have been really busy lately with tonnes of assignments. i still have 4 assignments (2 new) on hands. assignments, study, assignments, study. sigh.. so please excuse me if i can't come out. finals is drawing near and i don't know where to start. i feel lost and i hate it. this week, i skipped tax tutorial again because i didn't do my tutorials = ( luckily my attendance was taken though.

i haven't been eating rice since i *ahem* so yesterday i had to drive out to buy porridge for dinner. i cannot wait to be able to munch properly!

there's one thing i've been wondering. is it really important on how people are judging you? the impression you give to your friends and what they think you are not? recently, i just don't see a point in clarifying myself and the good thing is, the people who know you best will still be around you spiritually. =)

there's a song i would like to share with ya all ...

The Script - The Man Who Can’t Be Moved

going back to the corner,

where i first saw you

gonna camp in my sleeping bag,

I’m not gonna move

got some words on cardboard

got your picture in my head

saying: if you see this girl can you tell her were i am

some try to hand me money

they don’t understand

I’m not broke

I’m just a broken hearted man

i know it makes no sense

what else can i do

and how can i move on

when I’m still in love with you

cos if one day you wake up

and find that your missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be

thinking maybe you’d come back here

to the place that we’d meet

and you’d see me waiting for you

on the corner of the street

so I’m not moving

I’m not moving

police man says son you cant stay here

i say someone I’m waiting for if its a day a month or year

got to stand my ground

even if it rains or snows

if she changes her mind

this is the first place she will go

cos if one day you wake up

and find that your missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be

thinking maybe you’d come back here

to the place that we’d meet

and you’d see me waiting for you

on the corner of the street

so I’m not movingI’m not moving

I’m not moving

people talk about the guy

thats waiting in on a girl

woooaa wooo

and i no who’s in his shoes

put a big hole in his world

ooooo

maybe ill get famous for the man who cant be moved

and maybe you wont mean to but you’ll see me on the news

and you’d come running to the corner

cos you’ll know its just for you

I’m the man who cant be moved

cos if one day you wake up

and find that your missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be

thinking maybe you’d come back here

to the place that we’d meet

and you’d see me waiting for you

on the corner of the street

so I’m not moving

I’m not moving

going back to the corner were i first saw you

gonna camp in my sleeping bag and I’m not gonna move

p/s i can't upload the video so go search yourself

2008-07-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

what was i anticipating for? why did i rush for?

you...

but in the end, you just left me there crying helplessly for being such a fool.

the bottom line is, i have a dead tooth in my mouth.

2008-06-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

the past 2 weeks have been tough for me. early of last week, i was involved in an accident at 7.30 in the morning on the journey to college along MRR2 highway. i clearly remember my reaction when the collusion took place. "fuck fuck, damn it.. erghh" followed by a inadvertent punch on the steering wheel.

this is my 2nd attempt on resketching the accident.

it was already a very bad day for me but badminton that night sure did bring up my mood a little. that was what i needed. friends making me laughed/cheering me without knowing what happened that morning. nevertheless, in the end of the day, you still wish for that piece of consolation from that particular person. i miss those days where we would just whine to each another over a cup of tea.

the next day of my accident, my friend's dad was involved in another accident. the damage was way serious and complicated. he was hit by a tractor! and did i mention, my friend was with me when i knocked the car in front? i wonder how it feels like being involved in 2 accidents consecutively. my dad hasn't spoken to me since the accident and i know he will go on and on with this killing cold treatment until i get the car fixed. would you rather being scolded and yelled or totally ignored?

on last thursday, it was a blue moon : )

i didn't have a car but i was desperate to go college, not because i was hardworking but simply because i felt like going to college. i did it once and it will be the last time. that was when i found out, calling a cab now charges you RM2 instead of RM1 and this new charge was implemented 1 year ago. i took a cab to college from my doorstep and it cost me RM24. *ouch
(i could have bought 4 bottles of heineken in Miri AND i still can give tips!)

money is nothing when it comes to safety. if i knew i was going to meet a pathetic asshole and a son of a bitch in the lrt station on the way home, i won't mind paying a double of my cab fare to go home. the next time i see you again, it's when i'll be watching you strip your pants with a smirk on MY face this time.

to make the matter worst, that night itself i was suffering from a toothache which almost made me kill myself. i wanted to tie a string to that particular tooth and secured the other end of the string to the doorknob where the door opens outwards. i will wait patiently behind the door and on a count to three, i will make my brother open the door as fast as possible as though there are stripers in bunny costumes awaiting for him behind the closed door. and if that really took place, i swear i would have killed my brother. the pain was unbearable i couldn't sleep that night and that was the excuse for skipping class the following day.

i have visited the dentist and the pain has left but there's still a slight but disturbing sharp pain. before we go any further, let's look into the anatomy of a tooth. this could be boring, but please take note. you will know why at the end of this post.

the pulp chamber contains blood vessels, nerves and other connective tissues and creates the surrounding hard tissues of the tooth during development. The pulp is important during a tooth’s growth and development. However, once a tooth is fully mature it can survive without the pulp, because the tooth continues to be nourished by the tissues surrounding it.

if you know when the pulp matures, please enlighten me.

The Root canal treatment (RCT) is needed when the tooth's root becomes infected or inflamed through injury or advanced decay as you can see from the picture above.

The tooth is anesthetized. An opening is made through the crown of the tooth to the pulp chamber. Special files are used to clean the infection and unhealthy pulp out of the canals. Irrigation is used to help clean the main canal (called lateral canals).

The canals are filled with a permanent material, often gutta-percha. This helps to keep the canals free of infection or contamination.

A temporary filling material is placed on top of the gutta-percha to seal the opening until the tooth is ready to be prepared for a crown. A crown, sometimes called a cap, is made to look like a natural tooth, and is placed on top.

Althought it is said that the tooth was sedated but during the process, i was literally shrieking for pain and holding my hands together so tightly the nurse had to calm me down. seconds later, the pain became sharp and agonizing, i cried as my legs were kicking and hiting on the seat.

it was a torture i never want to endure again.

and the reason why i ask you all to take notice of this is that, this treatment easily cost me RM450. and this amount is not including "crowning"(to protect and restore the tooth to full function) where i have to do after my braces. crowning will cost me RM600. but of course there is an alternative to this treatment which is to get your tooth extracted. i have to skip this as the missing tooth will be a problem to my braces.

car damage

2 5 0 + 4 4 0 = 6 9 0

RCT

6 0 0 + 4 5 0 = 1 1 5 0

Jumlah keseluruhan dalam SATU bulan

6 9 0 + 1 1 5 0 = 1 8 4 0

0.o""" who wants to buy my backside?

on the journey home from the clinic, i cried. it wasn't just a hole burnt on my pocket, it felt like a blood suction right in the middle of my heart.

knn, in a blink of eye, my set of teeth has become more valuable.

p/s: please visit the dentist regularly. i swear you'll rather pay RM20 for consultation.

everything is going to be alright, there will be light for me to search my way out.

2008-06-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

i'm feeling so lost and very very low right now. i couldn't concentrate in class at all just now so after 10 minutes in lecture, staring blankly at the projector not listening to a word the lecturer was saying, i made my way out of the lecture hall. i felt guilty but the pain in my stomach also convinced me to go home. what is the point attending lecture, but not gaining anything from it right? if i stayed on, it was simply to make my petrol more 'worth' it. i saved 20 ringgit but lost 45 minutes of my precious time.

this is a very bad start of my new semester. i disliked my course, now i hate it so much but there's no way out. i stepped in too deep and went through hell during diploma level but managed to make my way till the end safely and i'm grateful for the efforts i put in. i know clearly that there's no way for me to back out now. its just one way straight; die or survive. aren't we supposed to be doing something of our interest to enjoy this short life? i haven't tasted happiness since i got back here. college life is giving me a headache, accountings is cutting my life short.

i need somebody right now. i don't need you to hear me out. i don't need you to share my depression. i need one who can just make me happy for just a day without knowing anything at all. how come the person who really know what i want is you? you made me cry after so long but don't get me wrong, the tears don't mean anything at all. it just feels like i've made a big round.

my path now is towards ACCA and if i fail more than twice for one subject, i won't be able to claim exemptions and i won't be able to pursue my studies in Sheffield Hallam.

wasn't my 3 months break long enough for me to play around? why am i still not prepared for everything. there's no time to play anymore, no time to take a break, no such thing as honeymoon year. i really feel like having a shoulder to rest and at the same time, i just want my head straight up. i have to keep going, i'll meet you all at the end of the finishing line and that's when you'll tell me, "i'm so proud of you".

hightlight-"ers" of the night

2008-05-31T04:20:00.000-07:00

then...

year 2006

now...

year 2008

i'm not fat but i DO look fat in the recent picture =/ its the blouse its the blouse *self console*

when i looked at the recent picture, it reminded me of the other one. i still remember it was mumbo jumbo that night at zouk.

i still want a swift =(

2008-05-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

i'm SO angry! .. when i have finally decided to make my day a productive one, the car decided to break down on me..
*rwarrr

this is where i belong

2008-05-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

i'm confused myself. is it the jet lag or because i got up at 8pm yesterday? its already 7am and i'm still awake, wide awake. i came to the computer when it was still dark and as i turned and looked out the window, i was really shocked it was all bright already.

i'm home, home sweet home. the first thing i realised when i got home was i am going to have a hard time making my home a comfortable living, as always. i haven't got anything in particular to talk about actually and it really didn't feel like i had been away for the last 3 months. a lot of things have happened to me and it isn't easy to put everything down in words right now.
i really want to thank everyone for those welcoming hugs. they really made me feel like this is where i belong. i could tell who i am to you just by hugging =)

hmm.. actually i should just shower right now, get changed and attend my orientation day since i haven't tasted it. it will be a miserable journey and wished-i-had-not left-home decision though. the air-cond is on, why don't i just climb to bed right? brilliant idea =)

rise and shine ya'll

the closure

2008-05-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

everything has got to come to and end, whether you like it or not. that means this admirable UK trip of mine will be due end of this week. i was eager to go back home a month ago but now, i dread the goodbye session. at this moment, i wish i stay here forever. as the day draws nearer, i'm starting to have sleepless night. the reason why i'm typing this at 7 am in the morning. i can't seem to sleep back knowing that i'm leaving with some things undone and also i'm having a great headache on last minute shopping for souvenirs. ~~the one thing which sucks for having too many friends.~~ just so you know, if i haven't gotten anything for you that clearly means that you aren't actually very significant to me. don't be such a thick faced, can? i don't need to plaster it on my forehead.

on the other hand, i would love to dedicate my gratitude to ~~mr and mrs. cheong~~ mr. darren cheong and miss. cheong yen li for helping me to bring back some stuff. nasi lemak and teh o ais on me, aights?

i am going to start an early shopping today and hopefully i will not be left empty handed as the sun sets. i still have a long list to go, damn it!

i am having this super craving for nasi lemak and i really want to have it now for breakfast! = (

*nasi lemak telur rebus satu (kalau boleh, bagi satu biji OK?)*

what miracale tastes like

2008-05-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

i haven't had a good laugh in a long time until Daryl asked me to watch this video below. this kid is really hillarious and you have to watch his facial expressions.
note: watch till the end.

blooood-uh.. funny ain't it?

once i'm in youtube, i'm usually hooked on for some time clicking from one video to another. i really love looking at videos of babies/kids.

as i clicked and watched on, i came across this video and i knew i had to share this piece with readers of my blog. spare me 10 minutes of yours, can? this lil girl is beyond words to describe.

she's definately a God Sent.

happy to make you happy

2008-05-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

first of, thank you for your response on my previous post. i've sorted things out and i'll just hope things will go smoothly for me. i'm sure there is a brighter side to everything no matter how shitty a thing can get. specially thank to this silly friend of mine who actually bothered to do some researches for me online. haha. it was unexpected and touching =)

i just came back from shopping with my sister and ron and i finally got something for my eldest sister.

we wanted to get the white colour one cause its more classy, but since siew ling is known as a dirty cat, we thought black would be much suitable for her. this is bought specially for you, other stuff we'll share, just dun pile my clothes up in your room. you think decoration meh?

you better love this killer heels : ) well, i do.

therefore, i shall present to you, the ~~most adorable sister on earth~~
world best sister (courtesy of mummy's sponsorship of course) ; )

haha =D

need some help

2008-05-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

there's a fork road in front of my journey now. either one will determine my years to come and there's no turning back, at all. i really don't know what to do. all i need now is advise from an expert who will be able to enlighten me on the decision i am about to make.

i really need a piece of advise whereby then i shall know which path to go.

A or B?

Left or Right?

basically, study locally or study abroad?

nudge me if you think you're able to help. if you want to know what's bothering me, i will be glad to share as well.

i am so stressed up! =(

thought at the moment

2008-05-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

while deciding whether or not to go for a morning jog, unconsciously, i picked up my phone and started to browse through my old messages. and i cried. memories were squeezing through my mind. gushing through like a waterfall.

what does forever mean? we will forever be together. i laugh whenever i see this phrase. frankly, i only believe forever in terms of family. the people who brought me to earth, the people i grew up with are forever. father, mother, sisters and brothers. they will forever take their roles respectively but a partner can turn into an enemy too easily. as quoted by both of my parents "parents will forever be parents but they will not forever be husband and wife". i have accepted it and adjusting my life to live this way. nevertheless, if i have a genie on hand, i will not ask for world peace.

a relationship can start of with an awfully sweet date, it can also end up with disastrous pain. people still believe in happy ever after but the fact is, most parents are still together simply because of commitment and responsibilities. only a few still say 'i love you' and that's what i admire most. of course we all love happy endings and even pray for them. i don't believe in the outcome as long as there is a process of us together. in short, loving somebody doesn't mean we have to own that person. there are too many ways to love, choosing to be together in a relationship is to risky to lose the one you love.

before you think about starting a relationship, why not try growing a plant? see how much of love, tender and care you are willing to shower upon it and let's see if the flowers will bloom for you.

despite such a dead post, i, myself have not given up to find that 'forever' in my life yet. afterall, i love happy endings too =)

i'm going to get ready for a morning jog now! new day, new hope!

wine? ribena please

2008-05-01T01:50:00.000-07:00

too much of wine gives me very bad headache and super dehydration. i never really knew what hang over was like until yesterday. i went to bed after 5-6 glasses of wine and not long after, i found myself awake and it was really difficult for me to fall back to sleep. i drank up a bottle of water and 2 cans of ice cream soda before tossing around the bed again looking for a comfortable zone. what frustrated me most was my mind shutted down completely but my eyes were still widely opened. i believe i was struggling for at least 2 hours before falling back to sleep.

bad incident.

dear me

2008-04-25T01:14:00.000-07:00

dear diary,

my depression level has rose up by 20 percent today. the weather is rather sunny today due to the change of season, too bad i don't have a sunglasses. a sunny weather carves an image of a garden of blooming sunflowers behind my mind. so lively and full of hope. it's actually not difficult to smile isn't it? beautiful things make me smile, a wider smile when i realise the unintended smile.

not surprisingly, i got up at half past 2 today. yesterday before bed, i promised myself to go out today so the first thing which came to my mind when i opened my eyes this afternoon was not to fall back to sleep. i quickly washed up, dried my hair and had breakfast while watching "1 Litre of Tears" before i get changed and leave for some shopping, supposedly. usually, if i get up after 2, i will most likely stay home since the shops here close at 5. as for thursdays, the shops close at 8. that means going out at 4 is still counted as early =) great. go shopping without having to set alarm to wake up.

why topshop's sale is not like what i expect(want) it to be? =( if i'm not mistaken, today is topshop's first day of sale and the sale items are so-so only. sale but still out of budget. *curse* nice but no size *curse again*

maybe if i'm not a fickle minded and indecisive person, i will be much happier and even healthier. when i have finally decided to buy that black dress and green shoe yesterday, i decided to give it another day of consideration after performing some calculations today.

i went into Dorothy Perkins today and everything is selling at 20percent. excited me went in and started browsing. got attracted by this tank top with small flower details but unreasonable price. i tried on another white long top as well and i instantly became sweeter wearing it but also with unreasonable price. (actually, whatever above 10 pounds is unreasonable to me. sigh) after a long comtemplation, i bought the tank top. despite consoling myself that buying it is no mistake since i haven't bought anything for the past few days, i'm still carrying a slight guilt in me.

dear diary, should i really buy that black dress?

and another day passed

2008-04-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

i do not like to eat a whole apple by itself. i rather take by slices. i avoid any chances of eating but when my mum thrusts a readily peeled apple to me, i know i have to eat it. i wished i said "slices will be preferable, mum".

now i have pieces stucked in between my braces. geez. not just apple, this applies to whatever which requires the act of biting off from a whole.

i spoke to my brother yesterday and he said he wants to put on braces. haha.

so my days have became less lively, less entertaining and less movements. every 24 hours, i live in dreamland for at least half of it. when i'm in reality, i either rot at home or courageously lift up my bum and go out for a walk. and i usually go back home feeling depressed for being unable to decide whether or not to buy some stuff. i guess this is the reason i rather stay home and watch series.

i'm starting to watch a new Japanese drama entitlied "1 Litre of Tears". based on reviews i read, this should be a very meaningful and touching drama unlike those Taiwan drama which never fail to slap me back to reality once i watch the last episode. the lead actors always end up living happily ever after.

geeez....

"my prince charming, i can already picture you riding a clean white horse with a Palerma PM *eyes shine* hanging on your hand. if too expensive, i really won't mind a Neverfull GM for starters =D"

i is waiting too long.

*slaps

so today i had an evening walk with my mum down to the Quayside. its like how you have to see the Prague Castle when you're at Prague, you have to see the Gateshead Millienium Bridge when you're in Newcastle. too bad i didn't go to Old Trafford when i was in Manchester. doesn't make much difference anyways since i'm not very much a football fan.

the pictures below are taken during the evening walk. you know, i think i've put on some weight. look at my face! its like, quite chubby compared to last time right?

drinking wine alone

2008-04-13T04:20:00.000-07:00

i just took a wee.

and the walk to the toilet is not easing my butt-ache and backache at all. i've never browsed through so many blogs within the last hour. i've been sitting in front of this very old and 'cannot-load-movies' laptop for hours already. and my day is not productive at all unless you say watching movie and onlining are unusual. i warned my mum yesterday that i am going to spend the whole of the day sleeping and so, do not attempt to wake me up and force me to watch tv. if not for her call at 4pm, i swear i would have slept till she comes back with my dinner.

some may not know, my life is really not as happening as it is back in malaysia.

i cannot ring up shal and ask her to go yum char then quickly get changed and leave the house.

my brothers cannot call me and ask me to fetch them from point extreme.

i do not go clubbing here (only went out for ONE drink when i was in Manchester then we returned back to the boy's house and i served myself with another can of carlsberg).

i do not have freshly prepared fruits after dinner unless requested (my dad believes fruits help in digestions and sometimes he would say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". i can hear his voice in my head.).

i do not drive here. (i really miss driving and miss filling up petrol at seri petaling's shell station. i never needed to pump petrol myself. the workers must be wondering how come the chic in white wira is now replaced by an old man with aviator sunglasses.)

i miss quarelling with my brothers, throwing all the "dius", "mahai", "chaohai", or combination of both "mahgechaohai" at each another's face.

i miss our new couch!.. daymn..

and if i go on with this, this could be a very long post. so.. i shall digress before i get into "i miss doing house chores". (heck no!)

aproximately a month time, i'll probably be back in malaysia already. i will definately miss my life here once i get back when the familiar surroundings form a wall around me again. i'll have to hit myself back to a typical college life and again (just like every other semester) attempt to go library when i have long breaks. now i'm really praying for a nicely scheduled time table so that i don't have to purposely stay on in college for another hour or so just to avoid blardy traffic jams.

my regular routine here is more or less like this.

wake up. wash up. make-up. get dressed. go out. shop. go back. change to pyjamas. online. watch korean/taiwan drama. mum comes back. eat dinner. online. sleep.

i. am. going. to. miss. this. kind. of. life. lor.

just yesterday, i decided to start learning how to KNIT, yes knitting. and darren laughed at the thought of wearing knitwear back in malaysia. -.- don't care. sadly, my mum's knowledge on knitting is limited to scarf only and i have started to knit a little.

me: what am i knitting? it doesn't look like a scarf at all.

mum: oh. its just a piece of cloth. beginner ma. when u're done i can use it to cover the laptop.

me: o.0 later dusty how?

mum: then throw away lor.

me: WTF? my hard work. dusty. then. throw? eeeyerrr..

mum: *laughs

don't care. i will still complete my piece of knitwork though it certainly

looks like an amateur workpiece.

talking to poh yee now and just gave her my blog add. she said the last time she read my blog was last year. *sad.

makes me wonder how many souls out there are actually bothered to come in to check for updates.

let's see. i have actually finished watching 1 taiwan drama and 5 korean dramas here. and back to taiwan drama again. -.-

if only i brought grey's anatomy here with me. i don't like prison break anymore because sara is dead but i will still wait for season 4 and see what happens to my poor sucre. =P

random stuff.

this will probably be my last post before going to a 4 day trip Prague. a lot of people are stressing about how beautiful and breathtaking this place is. i shall go and judge myself and of course return with loadsa pictures.

btw, did i mention we(sis, ron, mum and i) took 8 hundred over pictures during our trip to london? =) whattodo?

more to say but this much for now

2008-04-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

whenever i look back, over my right shoulder i tend to see the mistakes i have done in the past. they seem to be forming a line, tailing me from behind.

i have finished reading "the five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom (was quite shock to find it at my mum's book shelf) 3 days back and it inspires me dearly. it makes me wonder who are the people i have affected and changed their lives and also who are the poeple who have affected me and changed my life. i like the perception the author has on heaven. sometimes, we live on without having answers to the questions we have chucked in the corner of our minds. and heaven has the answers for us all.

few days back, i was having a talk with an old friend of mine. a friend whom i cherish till now despite the distance between us and whom i have neglected back in those days. i believe he is one of the many people i have affected and at the same time, affected by him. lessons were learnt from him and i thank him for that. i am truly glad for that one step i took in saving our friendships.

we really don't have to speak too much of appreciation when everything is well comprehended already. but people still do. i do.

another person has affected my life. this friend of mine has not changed me but has taken a significant role in my life. nobody knows the things we've been through better than we do. i haven't been the best but i will be there at your lowest. =) just ring up aights.

some envy me for where i am now. some think i'm having a blast. i may, but when it turns dark, i ask, will i prefer this or a never broken bond of a mother and daughter?
we tend to earn something when we have lost something before.
just like the saying in the book i read, "one withers, another grow. birth and death are part of the whole." the latter phrase might have digressed too far though.
don't envy me, for you don't know i have envied you all for the past years of my life.

the feeling in me now is just neutral. neither sad, nor happy.

i'm just really grateful for this holiday in the UK. one thing i am for sure, my prayers were answered. i have opened my eyes to so many things, beautiful scenery, foreign surroundings which i have slowly came to familiarize, busy london, irreplaceable touch of a mom where i used to seek in someone else, charcoal dark and starry skies just like back home leaving me nothing but a serene soul, simple friends became more valued, the loved ones missing me as much as i miss them, a dad who will never give up on her daughter despite the thorny words he threw on her face, and at the same time, i have learnt not to doubt on my dad's love.

i know in his eyes, i'm still that small little girl who needs to raise up her hand to reach his.

i miss my brothers. they were really cute right?

2008-04-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

i finally made that call. the call i wished to make so many times before but never had the courage to dial.

it wasn't that bad afterall.

thank you for making me feel.... still loved.

i miss you i miss home

day trip to York

2008-03-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

i cannot feel my legs.

during the journey home from York, i vowed to myself that i have to blog about today. my FIRST fruitful day in the UK other than Alnwick because Alnwick was mainly about walking at the countryside. our train ticket to York was at 6.53 this morning and i had to force myself to wake up eventhough i didn't have a good sleep the day before. i only had 3-4 hours of sleep. with too many thoughts lingering in my mind, i hardly get to sleep soundly these days. i always toss around the bed before falling asleep. this morning when the alarm rang (3 phones, one after another), i felt like i only slept for 10 minutes. the sleepy us quickly bathed, got ready and head to the train station. it was freezing out there and i blamed myself for not wearing an additional layer. the sucky part was the train being delayed and we only boarded the train 90 minutes after than the departure time with several transfer of trains.

my mind was frozen dead but my eyes were eager for the beautiful scenery outside. it was snowing lightly. my first time but i wasn't satisfied =/ i wanted heavy snow!

we finally arrived at 10ish. the wheather forecast was accurate, 4 degrees. *shivers. and the temperature went even lower later in the day. later you'll know why =)

"welcome to York"

the first stop was the cannot-be-missed York Designer Outlet. "Guilt-Free shopping mall" is the name. it wasn't a good name though because i left the mall feeling still slightly guilty. i felt guitly for not pleasing my keen desire for the AIX jeans, CK belt, Nine West bag and Polo Ralph Lauren jacket. *heads down and sobs. i was consoled enough that we got something for my brothers back home and some small stuff for ourselves. the original price for the jeans was 89 pounds and it was selling at 44 pounds! super "dai" (worth it ) right? oh well... my mum doesn't print money here..

the next stop was York City Centre. A LOTTT OF WALKINGG!

the-i-want-the-armani-jeans look

at the city centre of York

we went into some shops and in Miss Selfridge, my sis and i saw a pair of shoes and thought it was quite nice BUT she spotted it first. she tried it on and ...

Li : Bi, nice arh?
Ron: Not nice
Li: Mun?
Me: Nice..
Li: Bi?
Ron: Not nice lar.
Li: Then i don't buy lor.
(She took off the shoes and put it aside)
Me: You really don't wan right? I'm gonna buy it.
Li: 0.o I'm gonna buy it.
Me: WTF??

my mood changed completely. i wanted it as well but we already have 3 exactly same items.
i couldn't even fake a smile the fact that she bought it because i said i was gonna buy it. later on, she noticed and she asked me to buy as well. *wheeee
i'm going to wear in back in Malysia and she'll wear it here, so no conflict la right ? =)
my sister is actually quite nice hor? lol..

the lesson is, either go shopping alone or shop with a guy friend =)

while i was sitting at the park, it started to snow again. the snow was very visible to the eyes but not in the photo.

if you go to York, you cannot leave without trying the famous fudge!

the strawberry fudge. we also bought the double trouble chocolate.

at the fudge kitchen. we missed the fudge-making demonstration.

this is the York Minster. "York Minster is the second-largest Gothic cathera in northern Europe (behind Cologne Catheral) and is situated in the city of York in Northern England. It is the seat of the Archbishop of York (the second-highest office of the Church of England), and cathedral for the Diocese of York, and is run by a Dean and Chapter under the Dean of York. Its formal title is The Cathedral and Metropolitical Church of St Peter in York."

its like "wow"

simply admirable

see why i said it got colder later in the day? it snowed. my first time =)

we walk and walk and saw the entrance to the City Wall. we thought it was a great adventure so we decided to take a walk. walk walk walk and walk. "are we there yet?" was the question without answers.

"A walk around York's city walls will take you through 1900 years of history. First built in Roman times, they have been added to and rebuilt over time so that different parts date from different centuries. As such, they tell the important and fascinating history of York. And as King George VI once said, "The history of York is the history of England." York's city walls are among the longest and best-preserved walls in England. They are a scheduled ancient monument and a Grade One listed building. The walls are visited by over one million people from all over the world every year."

this is the first photo of the three of us. a kind man asked if we would like him to take a photo for us when he saw us taking photo two by two.

finally, we came to the end of the city walls. we didn't exactly walked the whole thing because it was "broken".

we saw the York eye but din't manage to take a photo because, its too far away and it was time to go to the train station.

we left York at 7.50pm.

i wrote half of this entry half yesterday and half today. so just take it as u're reading it on saturday alright. it was definately a fun day for me. we just walked around without any sense of direction and asked passerby when we felt lost. the people there were very kind. =)

HAPPY EASTER DAY TO EVERYONE =)

woooopPpsssS! ; P

2008-03-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

picking up stones from the drain.
got some lousy jewelry from playing some game.
saw my aunt making love with her brother in law through a mirror.
quickly ran out from the room and shut the door.
looked around for unoccupied toilet to bathe.
saw my mum lying on the bed don't know doing what.
looked around and realised i was in my hometown, a single-storied house.
panic all of the sudden wondering what am i doing in my hometown when i have a test the next day.
saw my formal clothes hanging on the wall.
while i was waiting for the toilet, this old lady came to me and talked to me about something i have forgotten and offered me 'asam'.
during our conversation, a lady was looking at us, trying to eavesdrop from 20 metres away.
then i realised i had to rush back home to study and excused myself.
i ended up not bathing.
i left the house and there was a huge maze cum puzzle thingy i had to go through to leave the place.
i sat there looking at how people are passing through.
its either you go through successfully or you die there.
then the old lady came to me again and she wanted to play a game with me and threw cutleries on the floor.
the spoon fell next to my foot and she said it means that in future, i'll be working overseas instead of my own home country.
i ignored and ran away thinking how screwed i'm going to be for tomorrow's paper.
they suddenly closed up the puzzle and i didn't know what to do.
how should i go back then.
i didn't know why but i started to look for lift to go to the parking lot.
i walked and walked and i realised i was in a mall and it somehow looked like sunway pyramid.
o m g it is sunway pyramid.
as i looked around, i saw familiar faces. daryl was talking to evonne chow and amanda foong.
i tapped daryl's shoulder and said hi before i continued looking for lift.
then evonne and amanda appeared running in front of me so i ran along with them wondering why were they running.
we ran down the escalator then they stopped at the main entrance.
not long after, this luxurious car stopped at the entrance and a male celebrity with long fringe and sunglasses came out from the car.
girls were screaming.
i walked off and continued looking for lift.
i found one.
i walked in and closed the door but it didn't want to close and i realised i had not pressed any level.
then i became afraid cause i didn't know which level to go.
two men then came in and pressed a level so i thought i'll just follow them.
no idea why, there were 4 of us instead of 3.
then it occured to me, i didn't have my freaking car key!
must have left it in the house.
shit.. takkan want to patak balik after everything.
so i closed my eyes and started to think what should i do.
when i opened my eyes, i saw myself in a room, myself still lying on the bed.

it was a dream, a weird dream.
what a great relieve, i actually didn't have to take any test tomorrow.

2008-03-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

i went into Quiz, this shop in Eldon Square today after being attracted by a dress on a mannequin. it was a black conservative dress on the front with a bareback! syiok! i likey : ) while searching for my size, i prayed for a size 6 cause normally they didn't have the size for the clothes i like.

do not pray only when you need something.

so they didn't have size 6 and i tried on size 8 but it was too loose : (
the salesgirl said they didn't have size 6 and asked me to leave my number and that they would ring me up when their new order comes in. carrying a little hope, i left my sister's number and walked out of the store. : )

10 minutes later, my sister called and she was informed by the salesgirl that they don't do size 6 for that particular dress.

I WAS SO DEPRESSED. my tiny little hope vanished completely.

i am SO buying the sunglasses from RiverIsland. hmpf.!

anyways, yesterday i had a walk at the countryside in Alnwick and it was love at first sight. the scenery was beautifully spread, i thought i was looking at a painting. i've never seen such pretty and peaceful place before.

just.... lovely.

i will definately buy a house and retire there. (if i have the money lah.)
pictures will be posted up when i get back to Malaysia aights.

that's all for now. tomorrow will be another ordinary day for me.

2008-02-29T15:00:00.000-08:00

I LOST 10 POUNDS IN ASPERS CASINO!!

WHERE CAN!!!???

haven't been this far from home

2008-02-26T13:06:00.000-08:00

my years of independency have given me the bravery to travel alone. however, the journey to Newcastle was not as smooth as i thought it will be though i have been warned that the transit in Dubai is not going to be "fun". i hate the sight of people sleeping around in the airport killing time. i would pay a thousand bucks more than to have more than 5 hours of transit in Dubai. the people there sure did freak me out that i'm willing to burn a hole in my pocket than to have a longer transit. thankfully, there was a delay at KLIA, making my transit period shorter. i spent time walking around and when i finally found a place to sit, this stranger just had to sit beside me and start mumbling to himself. i quickly packed my stuff and made my way to Mc Donald's. i was rather inconsiderate because i just sat there without any food or drinks and people were carrying trays of food looking for seats. well, my feet were hurting so badly, my bums were stuck to the chair. If it wasn’t for Mc Donald's, i would have considered hiding in the ladies.

when i arrived Newcastle airport, i was questioned by the immigration officer about my presence in Newcastle. i knew it was coming so i had answers well prepared. when i passed through safely, got hold of my luggage bags, stepped out without having my luggage invaded, i was definitely hallelujah-ing when i finally saw familiar faces; my sister and her boyfriend.

we headed straight to my mum’s workplace. my heart beat was not normal and was anxious the fact that i am finally meeting my mum after good 8 years of no physical touch. we hugged and she said i’ve changed a lot that she won’t be able to recognize me even if we coincidentally bum into each another.
it wasn't as bad as i have expected it to be and surprise! i did not cry. =)

i have finally learned that a mother's love is eternity. the first few days here, she already made me feel loved, something i've longed for for so many years. i have always wanted a family dinner, a family day a family trip but i have also always wanted myself to accept the fact that I can only dream of all this.
the second night at Newcastle, while sleeping half way, with half closed eyes i saw my mum puling up my blanket up to my neck and covered my naked feet as well and soon after, i was sound asleep. the other night, i was coughing in my sleep and the next thing i know, my mum asked me to open my mouth and she quickly poured some cough syrup in and then again, i was sound asleep.

i'll definitely miss this feeling when i get back to Malaysia.

one week is gone without going out a lot. i went to the Gala Casino in Sunderland the other night and won 6 pounds playing blackjack. i wanted to win at least 50 pounds then I don't have to calculate much when i want to buy stuff but too bad. = ( 6 pounds is good enough though, can buy a ring. = ) i'm going to change for a later date for my flight back. one place i really want to go badly is Rome. i am not sure why but its probably because of the “triumph in the skies” canto series. hehe

i'm at Sunderland now, spending a few days at Ronald's place. tonight i will be going back to Newcastle with my sister.

wednesday is an off day for my mum. three of us can spend some time ber-bonding =D

_ u _ _ _ r _ r

2007-11-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

you need so much of courage to give your whole heart unconditionally to the one you love.

but have you ever wondered, what your other half will feel?

the truth is, she needs even more courage to accept.

don't let me stone, or .........................

2007-10-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

why is time passing by so slowly? it has only been three days and the feeling inside is gradually killing me. could it be i’ve taken the wrong step? i’ve always believed that time will heal but how it is going to cure the pain within me this time? one year? 5 years? or just 3 months?

i actually thought it was going to be easy, to let go something i’ve been holding on so tight. loosening may be easy but letting go is a definite challenge. if I have a choice, i rather lose this challenge.

i want to know what i really want. i’ve lost faith in the trust i have for myself. everytime i look into the mirror, all i can see is a fool, a fool lying to herself.

i loathe this feeling.

just so you know, the sky was crying over shattered hearts.

madigras

2007-10-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

hold your jaws! yes i cut my hair and don't ask me why cause i won't know how to answer. i only know i have to make sure i'm satisfied with my appearance before i leave for Madigras. no idea how many times i try to style my hair making the ends stand but failed. the person who can accept changes and still stand confidently is the one to admire. until now, i still cannot accept my new look. =/

u might think its fine because its just this angle that looks alright.. heh

yesterday wasn't great but it was surely fun. even the suckiest place can turn the ambiance to a great night just by having your closed ones around you. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying Madigras sucks. instead, it was quite okay. the music they played was not bad actually. some bringing back old memories and some just got us jumping. the dj kinda suck though. he really should cut down the amount of interruptions. i have to say i enjoyed myself yesterday. cheers to the black label bottle and cheers to the tequilla pops. i used to drink to drown sorrow, be emotional and end up tearing but yesterday night, it was of happy occasion. i'm actually quite blessed with the companies i spent the night with yesterday. thank you. YMCA? =)

chui, mel and june
"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."- Helen Keller

phei and i
"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose." - Tehyi Hsieh

there, i bumped into two hot celebrities.
i shall present to you....

mel, the popstar

and phei, the pornstar.. lol j/k

shal and william

"I don't remember how we happened to meet each other. I don't remember who got along with whom first. All I can remember is all of us together...always."

william and i

neveen and i

shal and phei

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein -

june and i

"I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

chui, shal and mel

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

tequilla pops!!

chui, june, shal and daryl

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." - Charles Caleb Colton

shal and i

"Do not save your loving speeches.
For your friends till they are dead.
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.- Anna Cummins

daryl and i

"Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking foward to sharing time with them again."- Lee Wilkinson

chui, shal, will, phei, mel, june and daryl

"Money might make you wealthy, but friends makes you rich." -Irma Berbis

girls of the night (june, mel, chui, phei and shal)

"We cannot tell the precise moment when a friendshipt is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, There is at last one drop that makes it run over. So in a series of kindness there is at last one drop that makes the heart run over." Sent by Collen

and again..
there's another shot similar to this but i present this one instead of the other because i realised that shal's hand was on phei's stomache on the other picture. shal?

chui, shal, daryl and xm at ming tien

"My friends are my estate."- Emily Dickinson

i love carlsberggg

teh-o-berg

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us." -The Wonder Years

2007-10-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

WHY DO I HAVE TO CLEAN YOUR SHIT????

my weekend

2007-10-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

i'm soooOOoooo hungry and my dad's cooking is making my legs weak! i'm having chinese+western food tonight and its the cheeeese sausages that are making me wobbly. that's why i'm here, settled down.

i had a super long weekend and to be back home now, i still can't believe that the funeral has came to an end. how death makes people apart has made me realised that i haven't done much to pay off everything my parents have showered upon me. i'm never asking too much from them, neither do they expect too highly on me. i haven't learnt much from my dad, the fact that he's saving so hard to feed the family and i, on the other hand, spent 400 bucks in the airport. wtf ??

on the arrival ar the JB airport, i was already feeling butterflies in my stomach what more when i first stepped into the house at Layang. most of them still recognised me and i was known as 'fong fah(mum's name)'s youngest daughter'. i felt like i was in a foreign place with familiar faces and the anxiety which somehow was flowing through my blood made me forget to greet my grandfather. how possible? be in my shoes.

first day
"i feel that i have drifted apart from my loved ones back home, having to stay in a place of people i hardly know anymore despite having the same blood flow in our bodies. i sobb quietly when i got scared being under the same roof with familiar yet unknown faces. i am only able to sit there staring blankly at the furnitures which are still fresh in my memories and before i know it, tears filled up my eyes. i feel hopeless as though i cannot adapt easily to new surroundings. i shake my thoughts away by typing this on my handphone cause i know i cannot look weak in their eyes.
i was the favourite niece of my youngest uncle back then, perhaps i've grown to need not have his love anymore or what looks more like it is that he has his own family now. i still have the musicbox he gave to me. i've always preferred my maternal family because they definately made me feel like i belonged in the family compared to my paternal family. my paternal grandmother loathed me since young but now it has been better. at this very moment, i don't think i belong here(back in hometown).
on the other hand, i'm glad that i came back to give my last respect representing my whole family. i don't mean to be rude, but now, i just hope to be stucked in one corner with my harry potter book."
(written on the first day)

second day & third day
too occupied to write anything.
to summarize all, i had to wake up early and sleep late. you need to queue up to use the bathroom. know why? there were almost 40 people living under the same roof during the funeral =/ its crazy, i know. the funeral lasted for the 5 days and the fifth day was the burial ceremony.

i think my mum's sublings better known as uncles are so... heartless. they all left quickly on the day 5th day as thought they are gonna miss a jackpot or something. i thought it will be quite thoughtful of them if they were to stay on another 2days to accompany their parents(my grandparents). but nah....

i arrived this morning and when i reached home, i was fucking fed up with the conditions of the house. the blanket put to wash on the day i left was still in the dirty clothes basket. the amount of dirty clothes were piling up high like a christmas trees. the floor not swept and mopped at all. the clothes i put to dry were still outside the house. they were probably having a good chat with the moon and stars that my siblings do not bother to collect them in. my sister's luggage from Prague still not cleared yet, she's crazy! her worn clothes are piling up in my room, expecting me to put them to wash when i come back. i'm super glad i bathed boy and dao dao before i left if not, boy's face will probably look as if somebody has painted it black.

i was only away for 3 days!! i think my house will turn upside down if i'm away for a week plus.

some presentable pictures below

view from the plane

so puffy! =)

senai, johore

i thought this is something to be shared. the dragons are shaped out of sand and also sprayed.

its about time

2007-10-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

my holidays is coming to an end already and i'll be spending this weekend in johore. i won't say my holidays was unproductive because i'm guessing the things done during my holidays were quite meaningful from spending the whole night yum char-ing to cleaning the house whole night till the sun rises. then, sleep the whole day =) mel, sleeping is the new cool huh? i think i'm cool then *laughs*

my grandmother will be going to singapore this weekend so tonight will be the last night seeing her before chinese new year. i'm having a mixture of feeling though there's not much of bond between us both. i just hope she could adapt to the new surroundings and live peacefully with my relatives.

i'm sure there'll be a drastic change at home when she leaves in which i will not be able to imagine if some 'things' really happen. i know, life goes on. i don't quite bother much anymore even if everything falls apart, i know i'll still be standing on my own feet. the chinese saying "even if the sky falls, just take it as a blanket" =)

when class commences, everything will be back to study life. no more late night yum char sessions, no more sleeping till the sun burn my ass, no more sleeping when people starts to go for their morning jog, no more drinking like there's no tomorrow. but, i'll make sure badminton goes on =)

4 more subjects till i graduate from diploma!! yahOOooOOo.. then 3 months holidays.. wow!

gotta start thinking how to spend my holidays already.. heh

anyways, have u guys made a new year resolution? i know nowadays people don't believe in new year resolutions anymore because if u're determined to do something, why wait till new year? its true, that's why this year i didn't bother making any. however, i have mine already for next year just for simply. and if i break it, i'm gonna fcuking look down on myself.

good night all.

2007-09-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

girls are evil. i feel evil today.

holiday! =)

2007-09-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

holiday has finally started and i'm not sure if my days have been productive. definately not for yesterday where i find myself awake at 5pm with the air cond still on and only able to sleep off at 4am. i knew this will not make my holiday a fruitful so here i am, awake at 7am and my day is all planned =)

to summarize my finals, it wasn't as bad as predicted. however, i think i pretty much screwed up my English paper by spending too much time at the first section and as a result, my essay part(letter) was short. short and sweet i hope. Managing Information System paper was difficult but i still managed to not leave any questions blank by crapping. on the other hand, Management Accounting paper was okayly fine. just that i lost marks for not reading one of the questions porperly. lastly, i had Business Law. i've never written so much in 3 hours in my life. i practically copied my notes and pasted on the examination booklet, which means everything is in the notes.

two days ago, my friends and i had a badminton session. although we wasted an hour, it was still fun to sweat it out.
below are pictures from previous badminton session =)

already sweating...

during break

smile melvin, smile =)

second serve, june (err maybe first)

go will

??where's the shuttlecock??

the girls all sweaty

HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL, ALL

HAVE A GOOD DINNER AT HOME =)

i'm not a very determined person after all..

2007-09-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

i want to play badminton =/

grrr

2007-09-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

hello all,

its exam period,

undergoing a pretty high stress level,

so,

please do not disturb.

thank you and will be back =)

here you are =)

2007-08-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

"never try to hard because the best thing comes in the least expected way"

of course, depending on each circumstances. say in studies, nobody on earth will say such phrase to you.

as in my case, never try to hard looking in for something which you strongly believe it lies somewhere in the house. two days ago, i practically spent the whole freaking day looking for my passport after knowing missing passport is quite a serious problem and causes loadsa hassle like paying a visit to the balai and some sort. i was told in case of a missing passport, you might need to wait for 6 months to get it done and they might not give it to you if ermm..they don't like you. just kidding. i knew the police will ask me to search thoroughly first if i were to tell him i lost it in the house and it will probably not convince him if i say i've searched like hell as though i've lost my soul. believe it or not, i have a whole script in mind in lodging a report. i even thought of saying i had a spring clean few months back and might have thrown it away unintentionally. then again, lodging a false report is a crime isn't it?

i also went to the Pejabat Pendaftaran something something near my college to enquire what i should do for a missing passport. the longest to get it done is 3 months, as i was told. a huge relief for me.

less than an hour ago my aunt asked me to look for my grandmother's IC in the drawers and there i found my beloved long lost PASSPORT (somewhere in the end corner) both old and new *beams* i couldn't even recognise the picture inside. i couldn't believe my eyes. i swear i've searched that blardy drawer for more than 3 times, at least. i jumped for joy, woke my bro up and waved at him the found passport. he couldn't be bothered less and continued his sleep. i ran downstairs and showed my dad and as expected he said "see i told you its definately somewhere in the house". -.- I also know la but don't know where mah.

happy happy happy.. its not a big deal but you have no idea how depressed i was for the past few days. i couldn't study and eat. okay the latter is a lie =P

I'm very happy but i know this is not the kinda happiness that will last long. tomorrow will be back to the same routine.

oh btw, i didn't get to find my grandma's IC
0.o

2007-08-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

people says there's a solution to every problem. and in that case, it means that there wouldn't be a dead end which brings/forces some people to suicidal. the darker side has most definately conquer them both mentally and physically. i've tried holding on a blade by my wrist long time ago and now that i think of it, i was stupid. i never understand why some people never get to see or even feel a spark of fire towards the end of their path. what made them choose such a harsh road? haven't they thought of how blissful they are compared to some people who have to eat grass to survive? what exactly are they facing which make them act such way, bringing an end to their lives.

put yourself in a situation. you said a few words which bring an end to your family, forcing your beloved to leave? basically, you said something wrong and at the same time hurtful. should have had a second thought before voicing out although it is indeed the truth. should have kept quiet if knew it might make him feel humiliated.

i practically "stabbed his heart".

too late for sorries

2007-08-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

what leads to last minute work?

backache,
headache, and
not enough sleeeeeeeepppp!!!

boon is going back to study again in a college he can never be more familiarized with that is the Inti College in Nilai. boon, wh and i were looking for houses for their stay while studying in Nilai and it took us 6 hours!!! Thankfully, they came into a decision by the end of the day. i got up at 7.30 this morning and had breakfast with boon and his mum before we headed to Nilai for 'open day'. when i look around the place, much memories came into my head. well, let's scrap that.

after Nilai, boon, wh and i went to ikea to have a look at things for their new house. there, i got so many inspirations in decorating my room and all i need is a financial supporter. i'm sick of seeing the same mess everytime i enter my room. something has to be done during my coming semester break. somehow, this phrase sounds very familiar to me, as though i've said to myself over a hundred times but no actions were taken.

after ikea, we had dinner at Itallianese, The Curve and frankly, the food there isn't thatttt nice. maybe because at every visit, i order the same food inclusive of the dinner just now. then Shae-Ree bumped into us and she joined us for dinner. she's back from Manchester for about a month and will be staying for another 2 more months. dinner was quite a torture as we ordered too many and i was sooo full by the end of dinner. at first, we were planning to catch a movie before heading home but all three of us were so tired and too full for a movie so we headed home.

i just spent about 3 hours in completing my Business Law assignment and the worst thing is, i'm not even sure if its correct. there is one more step before handing in on wednesday which is finalisation. hopefully, there's only a few mistakes or completely mistake free. that would really make my day and the sacrifying of my sleep worth it.

now, i'm gonna continue with Management Accounting assignment and go to bed as soon as i realised i've done my best. my brain is not functioning well and if i stay awake till my brothers wake up for school, i'll be awake for 24 hours. =S crazee....

ciao....

thinking a lil far ahead

2007-08-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

Its either I strive hard or I regret later.

I'm already thinking of my convocation.

Pass? Merit? Distintion?

what's your story like?

2007-08-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Friend A
"It's going on a bumpy road, low bumps in which I still manage to handle." No offence but I'm not sure how long this relationship will take her, the fact that she finds her other half immature and annoying.

Friend B
"I'm driving on a one way straight where there' no where to turn, a path made exactly the width of a car that I can'even figure how to u-turn."It is as though his future relationship lies in the hand of the man in power but if he wishes, he can always decide to reverse his way back.

Friend C
"I'm going very slowly because the lamp posts are all spoiled and even my car lights are not working." She has to indeed be very careful as there might be a big hole ahead which she will fall hard if she's driving fast. However, if she were driving at 20km/hr, she may only incur a minor injury. She's hoping to see some light from behind that will guide her out from her darkness.

Friend D
"I'm on a road of night market!"
She"s single but I’m not sure of her availability. However I can be ascertained that she'll be contented to be surrounded by many close friends and having them is all she will ask for, for now.

Friend E
"Driving on a common road where there are common bumps for me to be aware of". She's occupied and surely there are some challenges awaiting her ahead.

Myself
My friends claim I'm on a high way but the truth is, I'm driving on a path with several traffic lights which stop me for a moment or two by stepping on the break and have some thoughts. I guess there will be times when I’m too worn-out and decide to pull the hand break. And when I come across to a spoiled traffic light where cars will just zoom through, I will follow them but obviously, after taking a look to the left and right. Then, a friend asked "Your road got potholes or not?" Silly it may sound but I answered "Got, but I will avoid them." (They laughed when I answered =S ) It made me realized that I did not simply answer, because I do sleep through my problems.

Come to think of it, going on a high way is not as good as it seems. You tend to go on a high speed and that you might not have noticed the view around you. Or you might be so unconscious that there's a car behind flashing you off from the fast lane. When you come to realize and give way to the car behind, do you think it’s too late to slow things down?

what's your story like ?

i have no proper time management!!

2007-07-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

English presentation (business article) - this week

Management Information System case study 2 (this is a crap subject) - next week

Management Accouting presentation (budgetary control) - next week

Business Law paper assignment (i prefer a test) - following week

DIE!

one more month till finals!

:'(

yes i'm back =)

2007-07-29T03:36:00.000-07:00

I have finally shopped!! oOoohh satisfaction =)

Firstly, I would like to apologise for my lack of blogging. If you know me well enough, you should be well known that my hype for blogging is always on and off. Hey! at least I don't close down and start back in few months time. Frankly, I've been way too busy with my college stuff and I've tried to blog but ended up erasing everything and watched tv. I can't blog anymore when there's no inspiration unlike last time, I used to write about anything and everything that happened in my life. I'm not that free anymore and there's not much of point for writing something unmeaningful.

And to respond to the previous post, its basically my braces. =E
There's no surprise anymore since half of the world has seen me in braces and my new look(kinda). I just don't wish to leave the previous post hanging. And sorry no pictures at this moment but I promise that I will post up when I'm VERRYYY free.

Something weird happened to me yesterday. I almost got summoned by police for making an illegal u-turn and I got so emotional that I started tearing. Surely, it wasn't only because of that. It was already 11pm and the area around Sg. Wang and Times Square was so congested with cars that I got fed up and stressful. We were looking for our way back to Wangsa Maju and made a u-turn when we went into the wrong road. I was tailing my my friend's car and the police caught me but my friend. How lucky. After "getting rid" of the policemen, I started to sob and tears just flow down my cheeks. It was my first time crying in front of my collge friends and they were shocked but still tried to make me laugh and at the same time, calm me down. Then, I started sobbing and laughing simultaneously. Altough it was embarassing, I felt so much better expressing myself the way I'm used to.

I just had to let it out.

I got back my phone already! Its beautiful BUT boring. The repair wasn't cheap and I can't imagine how much it was going to cost if i didn't let a friend fix it. Maybe because I've used it for a year plus already,I feel that the phone is a bit 'sot kau'.

There's something precious in my hands which is going to slip away soon. I can't tell when but if I don't hold tight of it, it might slip off when it has a chance to. What if I hold it on to tightly and break it with my bare hands? Perhaps I should learn to let it go so that it'll spread its wing and learn to fly.
Do you... need freedom?

I really need to chill by the beach listening to music.

=E

2007-06-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

guess what ??!!??!!

the impossible

2007-06-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

i'm waiting for...
the glass to slip off my hands unintentionally..
the pen to break while writing my notes..
the fan to keep spinning even when the switch is off..
a star to fall on my palm just by lifting my opened hand up the in air..
the moon to turn blue tonight..
the fear in me to fade away..
everything to be alright again..

i'm such a fool..
nothing will be the same, ever again..i just know it..

2007-06-15T23:59:00.000-07:00

i just recovered from a headache and 'felt-like' fever. i could feel pain all over my body especially my joints. i got home at 6.30pm yesterday after driving for an hour plus journey back from college. the jam was so terrible because of the rain. i asked my tutor to let me go earlier when i started to feel more needles poking my head. the journey back was bad, cars were crawling, my eyes were shutting and my headache was kiling me. i took a shower once i reached home, changed into a new pair of clothes and told my dad to leave dinner for me as i needed to sleep right then. and i never got up after that until this morning at 8.30am. =) 14 hours.

i supposed that's why i've recovered and all ready for any outing session.

i collected my results yesterday too and if you're really not coming back to see me tonight, i'm gonna open it without you! but i know you'll come back :P

Management Accounting is freaking me out and i can't even cope with the first chapter. i need some guidances and someone niceeee to enlighten me, if not i'll be stucked here and there which is the last thing i'll ask for =(

btw, i wonder why haven't my dentist call me? =S

2007-05-31T03:16:00.000-07:00

i attended my sister's convocation few days ago and i couldn't help it but slept during the second half of the ceremony.can't blame me, i only slept at 7am that morning. it was such a torture knowing i still have to work after the convocation and all i wanted was just my bed and my bolster. a pillow will do good too. even ronald was sleeping pretty soundly. haha.. i wonder what did the audiences think of us both.

after everything ended which included my sister running around looking for friends to take picture, we quickly rushed home.

after getting ready, i hurried to JW Marriot.
working can be really tiring especially when u're asked to stand on heels for hours. not just tiring, it almost killed my backbone. i could feel the ache behind my back which disallowed me to stand straight and i was wearing one size smaller heels which practically tortured my poor feet. thank you for feeling bad and thank you for bringing me back my heels. i was working in JW Marriot where there was a wedding dinner held and i just had to serve Carlsberg.

last Thursday night at Maison was pretty fun. there were Li, Ron, Ling and I and we opened a bottle of Dewar's. she's leaving to UK already and that night was probably the last night for 3 of us. li was so drunk, she puked outside the window on the whole journey back home. it was nasssstyyy.

class is starting tomorrow already and i'm free on mondays. =) the time table is pretty much screwed up. on thursdays i have 4 hours of break! and class starts at 10.30am on fridays =) ladies night anyone?

errrr...sorry i'm just feeling the stress from college already...

i can't sleep!!

2007-05-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

i can't sleep i can't sleep!! .. i had a long day today, yet i can't sleep! i really dunno why but i think itz because i have too many thoughts in my mind that keeps me thinking from one thing to another ... super sigh.. i was so bored that i drew this, the thoughts that have been lingering in my mind.....

thank you

2007-05-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

i almost finish my post on my first encounter with policemen then i thought of not posting it. somehow, i find it inappropriate to post it online. it was quite funny maybe because they gave me a chance so wanna know more in details? ask me =)

no goodbye kiss no goodbye hug

2007-05-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

my night didn't go as it was planned but i've tried hard enough to pretend nothing was wrong. my smiles were all faked, my "nothings" were all a lie but i made the decision myself to keep it all inside. no confession was needed, no confrontation was conducted. silly it might sound, but i want to keep it inside.

crying is not gonna help anymore. i've learnt that it is my weakness to your eyes.

thanks to the people who brought back my smile and you guys really did make me feel much better.

i know i might cry in the middle of the night and what happened will be in my upfront thoughts when i see you.

but i guess.. i can still afford giving a second chance.

all i can hope is that there's one day to come where you will fall in love with my smile again. : )

wonders

2007-05-05T01:18:00.001-07:00

i was thinking do molecules in water really 'mengembang' when they got heat up? or they just move actively OR both?

damn.. where's my science book?

boring thursday

2007-05-03T00:42:00.001-07:00

holiday has started!! yeah!! yah sure yeah!.. but hell i'm doing nothing but rotting..
this morning i was awaken by my dad and he asked me to go fix the car.."grrr" i thought but hey i can't go out if the car's not fixed so i dragged my bum to the toilet to wash my face. good morning snshine =) i haven't been waking up early these days because there's nothing to do but house chores. lately, i have a hard time to fall asleep and i have to roll around my single bed for at least an hour to enter dreamland. i guess the train is really taking too long (if u get what i mean) .

so i did find my way there after some guidances from my dad and i had to wait 2 blardy hours to get the car fixed. had to change the cover for the water tank cause itz leaking. you know how hot temperature will make molecules in water 'mengembang'? so right, the water is sipping out upwards (if u get what i mean, again). what is the word for 'mengembang' anyways? could someone please enlighten me =)
when i went to get back my car, the lady said the water pump bocor lar.. aiyoh.. and they don't fix it there.. aiyohyoh.. i was asked to go to foreman but the weather was too hot, sun blazing right on top of my head, so i got back home instead. i'll probably get it fixed later. probably... =)

have u ever heard of poeple going bankruptcy because of fixing car?
i think i'll be the first..haha.. sorry, just cracking up a joke but i know its not working..

so anyways, i am really keen to work out! i need to exercise.. i need to play badminton.. WILLIAM!!!!! don't force me to play outside my house compound.. but i don't have racket la..

i need to hit some co*ks!!

stay healthy people.. =)

yeah!

2007-04-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

What are you afraid of? Don’t you even dare to say afraid of the sky falls. Have u tried living in fear almost everyday? Thinking about the same damn thing every morning and it keeps haunting you for the rest of the day? But when the day finally comes, it feels like somebody just lifts away the heavy burden off your shoulders and thank you is all you can reciprocate. But sometimes, some people just won’t take it as a lesson learnt and the exact same mistake gets all over their heads again.

Frankly, I pray only when a trouble gets into me and I don’t find myself holding my hands close, whispering thank you for the things I’ve been blessed. And I’m ashamed.

The day has finally come and thank you for it.

happy go lucky!!

2007-04-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

my dad is in a bad mood today ever since dinner as claimed by my sister. my dad reads newspaper in his room and he usually has newspaper piling up like mountain in his room. god knows what he was pissed at that he threw the whole load of newspaper down the staircase just a while ago. poor brother had to pick them up but serves him right. he should have knew bringing the newspaper down once in a while is his job =P on the other hand, i'm in a rather good mood, probably because i just woke up from sleeping. not just sleeping but sleeping on a rainy day =)

i had to drive back from college in a heavy rain, my vision was so blur and all i wanted was to reach home, safely. today is my last day of semester which means my finals is drawing nearer and nearer. thankfully, i only have one paper this sem and i know i have to do well. i don't get to share my past results with anyone, not my friends but once i got my results recently, i showed it to my dad. i was proud and surprised with my results hoping that i could share it with my family members and everyone i love. i wasn't sure if my dad was happy but i could somehow sense that he's proud of me. friends asked is if i failed and if i said no, i had good results, they'll probably thought i was showing off. so i just said no. i know i'm the kind of person who always want to win, be it a sports competition or academically. my mum gives me the inspiration and encourgement to prove to our relatives that we are not weak people and now my brothers are probably annoyed by me, always asking them to study. but i can't help it, i just want them to feel proud of themselves one day.

i think i'm thinking too much =.=

in half a month time, boon will be going to Kang to work and study at the same time. its sad that he'll be staying there but i have to say, i do miss the times we had when he was in Nilai. all i can hope is that he will excel in the things he's going to do there, work or study.

don't worry, i will understand : )

i'm gonna join the KFC contest for a HOME MAKEOVER!! even if i have to eat a whole barrel of chicken!! pls la, give me ONLY drumstick!! ; )

who knows?

2007-04-12T04:50:00.001-07:00

i'm so tired and i'm losing my patience.. i don't know what's my direction, hoping someone would write a list down for what i should do.

"what did i do wrong" i asked. "what did i do wrong" was what u reciprocated. where is the root of our arguement? how did it all started? my house phone rang and i heard my name being called. could it be you? are u gonna make the first move? i ran down hoping that it was you but it wasn't you, the call wasn't even for me. i was just giving myself false hope. i knew you wouldn't call, you wouldn't make the first move anymore, oh so i thought. i want to make things right again but the greater part of my mind say no. i didn't cry this time but the damned tears just had to flow down when i was lying on my bed. i really didn't cry, not as bad as last time.

maybe if i was determined enough to buy you dim sum for breakfast this morning to make your day, things wouldn't have turned out so bad in the evening.
maybe...

happy results, a little impact

2007-04-10T05:29:00.001-07:00

i'm so glad to have shared my moment of joy with you : )

2007-03-27T23:35:00.000-07:00

my heart is beating...
i don't want to be seen...
and i'm getting all.... drunk...

good night ya all...

2007-03-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

A guy can never understand a girl's heart...

and maybe the other way round too...

my thursday

2007-03-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

Went to the car workshop to change 'black oil' for the engine and i got myself a brand new wiper. damn syiok.
Cleaned the kitchen.
Bathed boy . Then not long after, he went to play under the rain without me realising. I almost fainted !! had to dry him up again.
Bathed Dao Dao.
Tidy up the living room ( i swept, Siew Li mopped, thank God she was home)
Fold clothes.

very tiring but satisfying....be glad for those who don't have to do house chores.

2007-03-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

you know how people say do not count on the things you have sacrificed and that do not expect anything in return? because the more you think you've sacrificed, hoping that you'll get something back in return and when you realised nobody appreciates it, your heart would just shatter. how many times can a person's heart break anyways? as far as i could remember, i can't even count the number of times mine has broken. maybe because everytime a heart breaks there's always somebody to mend it or something might just pop up and plaster the cracks eventually. so was the surprise yesterday a bullshit to you?

i thought i would release the tense in you, but seems like i'm giving you a bad headache instead.

simply.....

2007-03-09T14:17:00.000-08:00

I should be in One Utama now, at this very second with the rest but I chose to be at home. I tried to look at the brighter side, the fact that i would come out from La Senza empty handed and heartbroken. Yes, I'm broke. So, to those people who owe me money, please pay me back! =( the accounts haven't gone to bad debts right ?

This semester i only have 3 days of classes a week and it will be a 7-week semester. Assignments are piling up already and i really should get started. i guess i'm quite relieved since all assignments will be individual based which means no more group conflict!! yes i really really hate it. i remember there was one assignment during last sem where this group member of mine did not contribute anything at all but her pretty signature. i was more than pissed but i couldn't do much since she was the closest to me. Friend, just a simple apology will definately make me feel better. It doesn't matter how close we are, if you know you've done wrong, sorry is not the hardest word!

some pictures of Perhentian i wish to share with ya all...

Us looking at the beach

during dinner

the sun set

two hands one heart

fcked up cny

2007-03-04T03:05:00.000-08:00

Before CNY

i'm feeling it already, the excitement for Chinese New Year i.e the shark fin soup as starter for dinner but it surely isn't all about the soup. family gathering and the only person who holds the family together is my grandmother. ang pow and this year, like every other year my grandmother's ang pow would be a lucky pick that is 1 rm200, 2 rm100, 3rm60 and the rest are rm20. i shall know how's my luck for this year in 2 hours time. decorated and welcoming house which i had put in loadsa effort okay! i doubt the pussy willow will blossom by tomorrow the fact that we bought it quite late and that we're using water instead of ice. well, if only we had a bigger vase =P

bi~ bi~'s back to his hometown, Segamat in Johore and i'm missing him already. *sad
we meet each another everyday since we got together excluding some exceptional days which accumulate to less than a week. =( i'm sure he misses me badly as well.. wakakaka...
can't wait for you to be back, bi~!

During CNY...

as some already know, i'm not very keen in gambling anymore but then again, chinese new year wouldn't be the same without gambling so i just play along. we used to play with coins but now syillings are "prohibited", even my brothers are betting with 10 bucks on black jack. kids nowadays also know the term high risk, high return =.-

poh yee left for australia yesterday and yes i cried. i make your life easier, you don't have to go around and ask who cried that day. i'm sick of KLIA already and i still remember the day i left for National Service. when i first step into KLIA i was like "ohhh and ahhhh" but now, itz like "here again" the fact that we park at the same parking lot and use the same escalator everytime we send somebody off. and as it is, i would always think "when's my turn?"
poh yee, i'm glad i'm one of the people you would confide in but all we can give u are just advises and guidances. i'm sure you're expecting something ahead of you, be it bad or good as long as you believe in the path you've chosen, there shouldn't be any remorse.
one thing i missed out saying to you when we embraced, "Let you be proud of yourself"
we're your bunch of supportive friends! =)

i couldn't care much anymore when i finally realised how important am i to my friends. i might not be all right but guess what, you all really hurt me. when i could actually feel invisible for few seconds, it was a stab right through my heart. who am i to you all? i don't care if you all don't know how to adjust to changes, but oh please at least, respect me and my friends. i'm sorry but i'm not sure if sorry can really heal the cut.

am i not good enough for you? i've done all i could and if you really expect more from me, a thank you or appreciation will do good. maybe i haven't put in my best to take care of you but i'm not sure what else i could do. i'm sorry babe i'm crying again but the tears flow down without a damn warning. i hope i could erase some part of the conversation for it affects me so much. don't call me crazy, but you've changed. i used to be excited when a message pop up and it's from you but nowadays, none of them is significant. you assure me your love but i couldn't sense it already unless we embrace. call me senso or whatever, this feeling is conquering me and i'm going mad.

written randomly....

2007-01-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

Its funny how I used to tell a friend of mine to keep her relationship problems away from studies, don't let them distract her and now I'm facing such problem. I usually study during midnight where I could hear pin drops and when I'm distracted, I find it ridiculous talking to myself, telling myself to concentrate and not to worry so much and that tomorrow the sun will shine for me again. But the fact is, I can't concentrate no more until he makes me feel relieve again. However, I doubt he realizes I’m in torment. I gave myself excuses to take a day break to go out with my friends just to relax and pull myself away from distraction. Apart of me feels bad, for I might not be able to finish the syllabus but another part makes me feel lighter. Thanks, ya all.

I had wishes from several friends which I thought were encouragements to study harder and it did somehow boast up my energy but I wanted the words to be from you. I wanted you to give me confidence, and to push me all the way. I wanted you to buy me Nescafe to awaken me, I wanted you to send words of encouragement in the middle of the night, I wanted you to buy me supper for surprises, I wanted you to not give up on me and most importantly I wanted you to make me realized why am I studying for. Now, i don't need anything already.

Your words hurt, call me useless, whatever.

Guess I should stop acting like I needed encouragements!

If you think you're wrong.. BUY ME 10 LOLLYPOPS!!

come back to me =(

2007-01-24T17:23:00.000-08:00

basically, the calculator is helping me to announce my situation for finals exam to the world

my art work, discovered during break from so-called revising

I DELETED A WHOLE LOAD OF PICTURES ACCIDENTALLY!!!! MGCHiiiii !!!!

so SO depressing!!!

so what if i said the previous post was my last post? I AM VERY ANGRY and there's no one to express to so i have to blog.. actually i think i'm very stupid.. GRRRR!!

i'm waiting for my bro to wake up for school and be their driver so at the meantime, i shall mourn over my gone pictures.. i want want want want want my pictures back.. how??

2007-01-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

Monday
It was only 7.15am and the sky was already as bright as the pathway to heaven. Just as I thought I remembered about the pagoda decorated with red lightings as we were heading down from the top of Genting to Awana in the skyway cable car and recalled mentioning something bout heading to hell and friends were shush-ing me in return . I was driving to college this morning and realized this week would be my last week of classes before finals. Damn I hate the thoughts of it. As I have mentioned before, this semester passed by rather quickly and it is as well the toughest semester ever. My first paper is on next Friday and I'm not done with my revision at all, realizing that my absorption level has dropped dramatically. The facts that I have captured in my brain are fading away slowly. As I wonder, I could be failing one or two subjects this semester. Haven't I put enough effort?

I can't go out anymore so don't bother calling me for any yum char session or shopping unless, Steven's corner or Seri Petaling's mamak is at favor. My modem kong-ed already and I'm typing this post without knowing when exactly I'll be posting it up.

June's birthday was a fab. I've always fancied house party having all friends gathering in the house, hopefully having a great time since I obviously can't entertain all.Thanks for the party June and damn I missed those pasta shells!! hmpF.. but hey, the chicken wing was real tasty! =)I was feeling a lil tipsy that night and I missed the feeling of it. It'like just right, not too much to feel dizzy, not too little to crave for more. The great thing is having friends to laugh with while you'e there. Drinking is best with good company. June, I hope you had a good time that night and that you'll love the present we, Shal, Caryn, Phei and I bought for you. Gotta let us see it alright cause I haven't seen how the miracle works.

On the other hand, I had another dinner to attend two days after which was Boon's heng dai, Wooi Haw's birthday. We bought him pieces of cakes from secret recipe which round up into a whole cake and it was lovely. We all got to taste different flavors at the same time but I think quarter of it were smashed at each another's face. WH, I realized you didn't quite make a wish for yourself that night. Not like you will ever read this but I sure hope that you enjoyed yourself that night and as the cake say “once brother's forever brothers” Somehow I realized there are little similarities between BN and 34 =) last but not least just want to let you know that I really do cherish everything that you have done for Boon and I. Thanks, bro.

Tuesday
Tired

Wednesday
Everything was in a mess. Didn't know what to study, where to start.I woke up at 6.45am all prepared for class which I assumed was starting at 8am. Manertau, my first class for Wednesday was at 2pm.

Thursday
Disappoint-shit
Bi~ assured me his love.

Friday
Why are people leaving the house to work extra early nowadays? By 7.30am, the traffic was already building up and those fcukers who caused accident are real bastard I tell you. But I have to admit I took a few glimpses on the conditions and I didn't purposely break to see okay, I break because the car in front break. =P
I saw a lot of sleepy heads when I first entered the lecture hall and so it reminded me on my own reflection from the mirror I saw in the morning. Basically, I looked like a ghost. I'm in need of energy-boast!Everything went pretty smoothly despite the car's tremor which scared the hell out of me. I thought I would have to leave the car in college but thankfully I had Bi~ to calm me down.

Here you go my last post before finals.

Shopping CROSSED

Movies CROSSED

Television HALF CROSSED

Online CROSSED

Study TICK

Yum char? Perhaps!

See ya all soon.

i would usually smack those who say they are tired of life, but now i realised how tired am i of my life. i know, hope it will get better.

2007

2007-01-06T02:47:00.000-08:00

For me, 2006 has passed by rather swiftly. I have to admit shyly that I haven't done any significance for the whole 2006 except for gaining Boon. Basically, my 2006 revolves around a typical college life. I don’t know if I’ve grown a bit but I sure do have matured in relationships, be it friendships or with Boon.
I have to agree with the quotes from Shal's site. Growing up do suck and as we step a year ahead, it seems like there are more responsibilities waiting for us to uphold. I have always wondered what my life will be like in the next few years or perhaps in ten years time. Will my career be successful and that it is related to my course now? Or would I end up being a clerk for the rest of my life? That would be quite saddening.

Last year, I have lost touch with quite some friends and I really hope they would understand my complexity. It is really not easy to make up to everyone you know and just to let BN knows, you guys are the people I would never trade anything for. High school life shall be reminisced and kept in memory as long as lives lead on. I strongly believe that our friendships bond are strong enough to keep us together despite distance, those who are abroad and going abroad. Every meets will end with goodbyes but as long as it is all in the hearts, we sure will cherish one another no matter how distance will soon pull us apart, right? Having Poh Yee and Caryn to leave on February will really be a downpour for the rest here. I guess we have all adapted with departures huh? Let's make study our first priority.

I'm quite sure most of us believe in Karma. Treating people the way you want to be treated. How many people you know who has pure charisma? We bitch about people, we curse when we see a driver go nuts, we ignore those weak, we never have enough of live, always wanting something more, we procrastinate, we assume we are not good enough and tend to always compare.
Look into the mirror and you know yourself best. Gaze into your eyes of reflection and think hard whether you have done your part in whichever way. We struggle to not give a damn about what other people say bout us but words could be so poisonous especially from beloveds. Treat your friends the way you want to be treated.

To the person who came into my life and got stuck in a relationship with me =P,
Thank you for the year 2006 and I must say that 2006 would be much lonelier without you. There might be some things you haven't noticed and i want to let you know that you have touched me with every little thing you do. The first few months were so hard for the both of us and we are sure glad we have made it through. Thank you for not giving up on me. I can still anticipate the next few days for us but in years time, we might be miles apart. Whatever lies ahead, you have already owned a territory in my heart, therefore let’s just adjust to what we have in store for future. Thank you again, Bi~

It suddenly strikes my mind about death. My one and only New Year resolution would be a body check out and to drivers on the road, specifying to my friends, drive safely because every time we drive, we are practically putting our lives in our hands. There might be some other sohai who drives like mad so please don't be a sohai la k?
It feels silly how I actually wanted to cut my wrist over some stupid things long long time ago. This year, I promise to appreciate live better.

To the hero I respect most, thank you for putting in so much in saving this family. Without you, I simply cannot imagine how my life would be. Over the past 6 years, I know it has been tough for you to keep this family in shape and nobody would understand how much you've suffered. Dad, you will never know how blissful I feel every night when you get ready dinner all by yourself for us and grandma. I know how much you like it when we praise on your new recipe. =) I still remember the one time you called me during National Service asking how I was doing and those tears which flew down my cheeks from warmth. I love you from the bottom of my heart and how I wish I could tell you all these. You know whenever you smile or laugh out loud I would feel tremendously happy? I had tears in my eyes bringing in the chinese 'sau pau' for you on your birthday. You said you were sick of birthday cake and it was all worth it when we came out with the brilliant idea by buying the 'sau pau' because the smile carved on your face was sure satisfying. You are the one I love most and there are harsh things you said which cause me weeping in the toilet. Nevertheless, I still respect and love you dearly. I wish I could hug you tight letting you know that I am so proud to be your daughter. I don't want to regret one day. I am very afraid. If I have a genie on hand, I swear I would wish for your longevity.

Last but not least, to those whom I have influenced directly or indirectly, I'm very sorry.

Let's toss for a fantastic 2007

Santa is in town!

2006-12-23T13:23:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

have a splendid one with your loved ones =)

thank you!

2006-12-08T17:16:00.000-08:00

So today i only had one test instead of two and you know what? i was more than delighted when the course rep broke the news. I studied the right subject even before we knew bout the postponement due to some techincal error in computer lab but still, i didn't do promisingly for the test held today. we had 20 multiple choice questions and there were a few same questions. "it this a trick or what?" i thought while looking cautiously whilst spot for differences. i brushed off my suspicion when the tutor affirmed that they are the same questions, same answer. she said itz bonus questions but what if we got it wrong, both also wrong lah? kononla, bonus.

actually the point of this post is to share with you guys that what i've hoped for, came true!!

Layer ELEVEN : Finish The Sentence
I need: more time!!!

and there.. the test is cancelled and i can revised again over the weekend, hopefully can fight for better result! =)

TAGGED!!

2006-12-06T03:52:00.000-08:00

F*ck i just dumped my notes aside to blog. My brain didn't register to blog, my itchy hands did the work. okay fine, i'm lying.

by seeing how bright the moon is tonight, i realise how much i miss langkawi, really miss the sight of galaxy of stars. twinkling right above our heads as though they are performing for us. how come i don't see stars here anymore? *sad* i wanna go back to langkawi though the beach there is not comparable to redang or whatsoever, the night breeze is still ever fresh and cooling.

damn it. the thoughts that i'll have 2 tests on this coming friday just spoil the whole mood.

damn it. damn it. damn it.

how am i to survive this semester? i really have to buck up and cut down on outings and dates. besides being able to concentrate more, i'll be able to cut down on my expenses as well. but i just can't resist larh~...

i don't know how come this year i have so many lessons on not to envy other people and start to appreciate what you've been blessed already. itz like one coming after another. but when i see people with loadsa shopping bags, i feel damn depressed cause i'm always empty handed. besides that, i hope i could join my friends to singapore because having to know that they are going shopping there makes me jealous again =S i want to buy nice nice tops and stunning heels!

i guess the "lesson" is yet to be learned. it takes time, right?

I want to save money to go holiday!!
I want to go erm, CHINA!!

oh well,

I shall finish this first..

T A G G E D

........................................

Layer ONE : On the Outside

Name: Ho Chui Mun

Birth Date: 29th November 1987

Current Status: In a relationship

Eye color: Dark Brown

Hair Color: Black

Righty or Lefty: Righty

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

...........................................................

Layer TWO : On the inside

Your Heritage: Chinese

Your Fears: COCKROACHES & BUGS!!!

Your Weaknesses: waking up early

Your Perfect Pizza: Don't know

...........................................................

Layer THREE : Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up: Damn it, class again

Your Bedtime: 1 am

Your most missed memory: Family dinner

............................................................

Layer FOUR : Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke: Coke

McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's

Single or group dates: Single

Adidas or Nike: Adidas

Lipton tea or Nestea: Neither

Chocolate or vanilla: Depends

Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee

.............................................................

Layer FIVE : Do you

Smoke: You guess

Curse: Diu..need you even ask?

.............................................................

Layer SIX : In the Past Month

Drank alcohol: Yes

Gone to the mall: Yes

Been on stage: No

Eaten sushi: No

Dyed your hair: No

.............................................................

Layer SEVEN: Have You Ever?

Played a stripping game: Yes, but instead of stripping clothes, we stripped accessories

Changed who you were to fit in: I hope I know

.............................................................

Layer EIGHT

Age you're hoping to be married : 27

.............................................................

Layer NINE: In a Girl/Guy.

Best eye colour: Not bothered

Best hair colour: Blonde, just kidding..Black

Short or long hair: Short

..............................................................

Layer TEN: What Were You Doing.

1 minute ago: Breathing hard

1 hour ago: Studying

4.5 hours ago: Yum Char at petaling Maju

1 month ago: I need to look at my diary first=S

1 year ago: I DON'T KNOW

..............................................................

Layer ELEVEN : Finish The Sentence

I love: family dinner

I hate: departures

I hide: my new clothes

I miss: my mum

I need: more time!!!

.............................................................

Layer TWELVE:

Tag Five People

Itz okay....

After blogging, i realised that half of what i've studied has gone away with the night breeze..

time for goodnight kisses...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE GONG!!!

my birthday

2006-12-03T09:45:00.000-08:00

Bi~ was with me when it strikes 12 o'clock sharp and we both just finished watching a movie, Heavenly Mission(canto). I sneaked in Mc D into the cinema ^^

I had to go college on my birthday and I've never really tried it during high school since it was usually a holiday. I got wishes and excused to leave early too. Supposedly class ends at 6pm but i left about 5pm, hoping that i won't stuck too long in the traffic. i reached home by 6pm.

yadi yada yadi yada.

the dinner....

when i first reached i could already hear jasmine screaming over a dead rat at the restaurant and her scream was sure recognisable. =) we had 6 dishes and 1 sup and whether the food was delicious or not, don't ask. i think it was not too bad but i just don't really remember tasting any of the food. no appetite? or some emo faces brought my mood right down? =)

yes yes. sure i did try to understand and try hard not to be affected but what you expect la? i almost cried when i make a wish and even have forgotten what i wished for. anyways, i'm sorry for those who didn't do well for their exams. after finishing the food and suggested to go home, they surprised me with a cake! and it was really surprise surprise!! lol...
Thanks you guys for the cake, presents and presences!!! thank you thank you..

the fish is missing

the hyper and active ones

but became, somewhat shy when faced camera

the sane and helpful ones

the sweet couple

the all night emo face

the dish expert

the pregnant =P

lastly, the groupiE

after that, i went home to put the cake into the fridge, pee-ed then hurry for another round of celebration but this time with Bi~s' friends at the same place, different table. the next table only la =P perhaps because they were all happily hungry and with this....

errrr....

i meant this =)

it was a better ambiance ...but as usual guys are guys and since i was the only girl, i started to feel bored and what can a girl do when she's bored? yes, cam whore....

i'm a lil bloat in the sea....

by looking down i could see starts too ^^

then i look at the time and it was 10 minutes to 12am where the date will also change to 30112006. sad. Bi~ pulled me to 7 eleven claiming that he wanted to get some food. when we got back to the restaurant, they were already half way singing birthday song for me with my fav, chez choc! it was a surprised but i could already smell something fishy before that. bi~ went around 7 eleven, walked back to the counter just to get orange mentos =.= this time, i made a clear wish.
kenneth, thanks for being there before 12am, i know u speed your way here and the present! its really cool!!...thanks poh yee for me alright!!

other than that, i've received few more presents i.e from BN+ BN guys+yee lyn, from 12 college mates, the 34 gang and the most precious Bi~

tada....

yes, i arranged them =P

the story behind this bouquet of flowers,
i got this from a delievery and had no idea who would send me a delievery. the delivery person called and said he got a delivery for me and i never once thought of flowers but i knew it was for my birthday since i received it on the exact day. he addressed me as joanne and i thought it shouldn't be Bi~ and my mind started to play itself. as i heard my dog barking, the delivery man was already walking into the house, with my dad in the living room and it onlu took a moment to hear my dad calling for me. i was surprised and was practically over the moon when the card said "love, your bi~ bi~"

say with me "awwwwwww...."
so beautiful and it was my first time receiving flowers through delivery. i heard bi~ really put his heart into buying me the flower =) so happy... so pretty hor?...! ; )

note: it was my first time receiving flowers from him and also his first time to buy flowers ^^

if you don't always get that thing, you'll appreciate it more when you get it.

my dad had this for his birthday

the chinese "sau pau"

and i had these.....

From BN

From 34

THANKS ALL OF YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING!!!

thank you bi~ for being with me on my birthday and for all your love! i'm really happy and now i know how blissfulness tastes like!
I sek sek you! ^^

the bald and precious one

the graduate

2006-12-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

i remember promising bi~ that when he graduates from his ADP(american degree programme), i would fly over to attend his convocation. However, his ADP didn't quite work out and i never thought that Times Academy would have a convocation as well. I mean who would have guessed la? you learn all praticals on cars having in touch with engine and black oil then wear the 'graduate suite' thingy looking all smart.
(can somebody tell me what do u call that suite thingy, specifically?)

Last last Sunday was the Convocation held at Putrajaya International Convention Center 0.o and I almost failed to attend. =( Nonetheless, i drove my way there by depending on the sign boards and a lil direction from bi~, and i got there just on time, didn't have to wait long for the appearance of Y.B Dato Fong Chan Onn, Minister of Malaysia Human Resources to "merasmikan" the ceremony. I was seated at the third last row though.

Surprisingly, the ceremony was held at a rather grand hall and it was pretty cool as it was my first time for convocations.
Hundred of names were announced and i only pay attention when i saw bi~'s batch got ready to go on stage..

Bi~ looked really smart and "cute"!
When i made my grand appearance and first saw bi~, i thought i have fallen in love once again.. *laughs
I've got my evidence!!

only recently i realised my phone's camera has this extended zoom feature..

this is without zoom

zoom a little

then i caught him receiving "cert" from Y.B by zooming "kau kau"
2.0 mp only what u expect?

and this is my evidence! =)

bi~ and i...luckily i wore half formal. its a sign of respect ya know ;P

bi~ and his parents..i bet neither my mum or dad would attend my convocation. *roll eyes

Congrats bi~ bi~!! you still have to attend class ya know!!

i thank you first

2006-11-21T20:49:00.000-08:00

the rule of frienship means there should be a mutual sympathy between them,
each supplying what the other lasts and trying to benefit the other,
always using friendly and sincere words.

don't you realised that when being corrected by your closed one in a teasing-way followed by some laughter, you would feel much ache?

if you know anything that us hurtful and untrue, do not say it
if you know anything that is helpful but untrue, do not say it
if you know anyhting that is hurtful but true, do not say it
if you know anything that is helpful and true, find the right time

i despise people like that. and i myself hope that my friends will correct me in a well-mannered way as though she/he sincerely wants me to learn something. i remember being corrected when i say something wrong by a friend and she/he was practically laughing at my words. this friend is a close friend, mind you. if this is the only way you could make me learn, i rather be wrong and live with the wrong words all my life.

in college, i sincerely help them who aren't very good in english and all i hope is that they won't think i'm not 'showing off'. i sure do hope they would learn to converse well and not have negatives thoughts on my good intentions.

same goes amongst my english educated friends. i don't get to learn my from my college mates, therefore i hope i could improve my english with you all. we might be very close by it is the closed one, i was hurt from. can you imagine being laughed at something you were uncertain about from your loved ones. at times, i would thought, i shall just shuddup knowing that i will be humiliated. fine. if its jokes and all i won't mind and would even laugh along but you should know when to joke and when not to.

we should help sincerly, we should teach with good intentions.

everything that happens to us is the result
of what overselves have thought, said and done.
we alone are responsible for our own lives.

you might laugh at me now, i bet in years i'll be ahead of you

he who receives kindness should never forget it,
but he who performs kindness should never remember it.

for those who've helped me in several ways, i really do appreciate. i remember during last sem's finals, this very helpful class mate of mine, Huey Ru thought me accountings from the very first page and she didn't ask for any returns, at all..i'm contented with my grade B.thank you, girl.

speaking pleasant words without practicing them, is like a fine flower without fragrance

i apologise for words i've used which hurt anyone of you indirectly. we are all so close and we all know we love each another. i don't wish to hurt anyone of my friends and being hurt by anyone of you, again.

think before you speak for words are poisonous, esp towards loved ones.
not too harsh, just be sincere.

i hope i can adopt this good-being.

the quotes above are extracted from the "Heart of A Buddha" book.

2006-11-21T00:34:00.000-08:00

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

I HATE YOU but i l o v e y o u

=(

too close to be broken

2006-11-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

this is super depressing, undergoing so much of stress and having no one to comprehend at all. i thought you would at least lend a hand, but instead, you just lay down there with your comics. My fingers were so tiring and my brain almost exploded for elaborating and coming out with points. i should be resting my fingers but decided to blog because you're sleeping and there's no one to send me back. how can u sleep and leave me in your room just like that? i'm very thirsty but dare not step out from the room. i wanna go back cause my bro told me my dad is locking the gate tonight but dare not wake you up. you have no idea how u differ much when i try to wake you up. you wouldn't care even if itz me and will simply let out your anger, as though waking you up causes you much pain. i wanted to wait for you to reveal my results to feel the anticipation together but you choose to sleep. perhaps you were tired of waiting for me to finish my assignments as well but you have no idea i feel so much pressure from my mates. i'm expected for this and that.

sometimes i feel that itz really not that good being too close. we expect each another to understand each another, hence caring or not is already not a matter. i want to feel commited and not just on going till dunno where. you might expect me to take care of myself but deep inside, i seriously hope you would be my shleter, the person i run to and not the person i cry for. my saliva are drying, i'm getting more thirsty and worst still, having a backache. baby, what should i do to earn your care. i don't wanna be too close to you. i don't wanna be "expected". i hope you would still treat me like a little baby, need to be pampered need to be sayang-ed. i want to realise my wishes with you; i want to watch the sun rise in your arms, i want to lay by the beach and point out our guardian star, the brightest one together, i want to try all the good food with you, i just want to have a happy contented life.

i learn that human can never be satisfied. you gimme one, i ask for two. but i try to be satisfied with the one and make full use of it. but if the one is fully utilised shouldn't you be ready with another one? when i lose faith i start to imagine the hands being offered, and itz sad to know that yours isn't there. then i think again, izzit because we're being too close?

your phone rang, i hesitated in waking you up. i was afraid you might just slam your hands towards me. like the other day, when i came to wake you up, put myself in your arms but you just didn't feel my presence. you were too tired? i tried to comprehend so i just sit aside and fell asleep by your bed. sigh.

i notice your behaviour is changing as the closer we get. you're insensitive with my feelings and it should be because we're too close. the closer i get to you, the more i feel insecurities. such a headache. i just finished my assignments, should be relieved a little but i tend to give myself another headache after another.

after the phone call, you tried to fall back to sleep, i heard you told your friend that you're very tired. i'm very tired too. maybe you don't know i was serious bout my dad locking the door, maybe you don't know i'm done with my assignments, maybe you don't know i want to go back and maybe you don't know i'm feeling a heartache that's why you're trying to sleep again. i really did try to comprehend.

i look into the empty cup and took the very last droplet os water. that droplet couldn't even drown an ant. should i go down to get water or should i not.

your phone rang again and u answered. urgh. i have to make the decision myself. i didn't request you to decide just hoping that you could let me know your opinion.

my dad really locked the door.

sigh.

i need advises. i need guidance. i need you to calm me when i'm angry. when i'm complaining i want you to feel how i was feeling and fully understand but most of the time, you could only sigh along. maybe you really didn't know what to say. maybe you're just like that so i really didn't blame you, i'm just a lil disappointed. you woke up to answer calls and didn't even speak to me, maybe you thought i was still doing my assignments.

there's no more excitement to open the envelope of results already. no more. who cares anyways.

can you be my guardian angel? i just need you to shine on me when i'm lost.

bye bye zoukout

2006-11-16T00:08:00.000-08:00

Just after a few thoughts, I've finally came out with a decision. It was that hard after all. I might be missing all the fun and hot hunkz but its okay =( I've decided not to go for ZOUKOUT in Singapore. Sure I am depressed but I know i've made the right choice. There's ZOUKOUT every year (right?) and there's only 3rd sem once in my life. heh I don't want to resit any of the subjects, I just can't afford to do so.

I'll go when we're driving there, perhaps in a year or two? when one of us is able to drive. It will be much convenient though much cash will be needed, which also means I'll go when I'm loaded la. I'm so broke right now. After buying the guitar at RM 270, my wallet is bleeding already. Anybody willing to insert some paper money to heal the wound? Besides, I have an outstanding amount owing to Shal. wahhh.. I wanna strike lottery!!

Last sem's result is out already *dub dub...dub dub* I hear that not a lot of ppl score A for English, even a smarty pants in my class. He got a C! *ssshh..
I'm so dead... I'm nothing to be compared to him.. This fri shall be moody day. If I don't call you don't call me. lol. call me la.. I need to release stress =P

Since I've decided not to go ZOUKOUT, I simply CANNOT fail any subjects for this sem, thought I could foresee a high possibility =S...
If I fail, I'm gonna regret kau kau.. thinking, daymn should have went ZOUKOUT.. haha

Those who are going, have tonnes of fun, without me.. *sobs
I know you won't be playing in the waves, but still.. ermm tie your bikini tighter la.. *kekeke*
Remember, SWIMMING IS PROHIBITED !!!
Take loadsa pictures and story me when you all come back okayy!!

okayla, fine la I know still got bout 3 weeks so I'll shuddup now la (actually, finish d)... whahaha ..

Good night...

depressed, am I

2006-11-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

I miss listening to music while onlining and I'm doing it right now. I supposed there's something wrong with this comp's graphic card and so, there isn't any sound coiming out. So if I want to listen to music, I'll have to on the other comp, an older version one. You know how we love to ditch the old for a new one? So since my sister, Ling is back(for good, who knows?) and my brothers are on inofficial holidays, we don't have enough computers and one have to use the old one. The other one(usually, me) would either rot or bug them to let me use. But I'm not very keen in onlining nowadays. I've got loadsa college work to do.

I noticed that this sem is passing by very quickly. Its like I can't seem to keep up with the pace. Basically, I'm struggling la. I supposed it was only last year that I started to have severe headache like urgh, I can't input and process anymore. At times, I would have pain on only one side of my head which is similar to needle poking. Guess its all because of stress. Auditing is being a pain in the ass! so are the other subjects =.=

Another factor of my headache is my sister's return. I have been getting so annoyed with her and I just couldn't stand her behaviour. I realised that between us, I only take and not give. I simply can't stand a sight seeing her wearing my tops when I myself wear her clothes and she doesn't quite mind. I don't like her wearing my clothes. Selfish right? Besides that, just because she has exams I have to let her use the car and take lrt. She told me dad allowed so I just had to be fine with it. And the next thing is, my dad said she never mentioned anything bout using the car to him. damn chat diuz right? urgh.. fine again I thought since I remember owing her for what she had done for me. Whenever she asks for a favour, I just had to do for her, forcefully. Forget it, no use whining bout it. Maklumlah, "air dicencang tidak akan putus"

Tomorrow will be my first guitar class! *excited* lol I know I'm quite slow but I've always wanted to learn guitar ever since my friends were learning. I just didn't really have the chance to. Well, itz not too late! But I think itz too late for Salsa *blush* I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna learn Salsa!! Just hope my bone won't crack during stretch. sigh. Belly dancing, Shal?

The more I type, the more I think, the more depresssed I am!

2006-11-12T15:39:00.000-08:00

new layout, not really..

BAHhhhhh......

2006-11-06T05:48:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to dislike this layout for unknown reason probably because of how I feel right now? sigh. I don't know.

Actually it is really a good way to avoid questions by answering I don't know. You can't do anything if I say I don't know right? Itz not a crime to choose not to answer and it is also not a crime to feel helpless. argh. BUT it is a crime to cry! *must remember!

Zouk was cancelled and I had to watch Miss Chinese Astro International Pageant. I found out the biggest secret of my family has got something to do with this pageant and the truth is yet to be known. Could it be or could it not be? I didn't have any feeling towards it and I wonder why is that so? Perhaps, I've really grown up to realised that there are certain things out of our control. I shall just hope that he will be accepted. I will seriously not mind because I don't have the rights to.

I can't sleep. I meant I slept just now and was awaken by some noise and I can't fall back to sleep. An hour ago, my sis called and told she is involved with an accident. Wonder how is she, waiting for her return.

I feel like having a break, a long break from everything. I regret so much for not making good use of the interval between after form 5 and before Ns. Such a long period and the result of procrastinating was unable to go UK. diuz. I also feel like changing my whole image. Let's say cut my hair short or get some curls. But then hor, if I cut my hair short, I'm afraid I'll cry my eye balls out. sigh. how?

aiks, my sister's back. She was drunk and she drove. It was a minor accident that she banged the divider and just a moment after that, ramai the "callmen" came followed by police. swt. she's apologising to her boyfriend, Brandon now cause itz his car! ssshhh..

"If you drive when you're drunk, carry a coffin in your trunk"
I'm not cursing anyone but please be careful la okay. "Ingatlah orang tersayang"

2006-11-05T17:40:00.000-08:00

Do you know how good it feels when you know there is still a person there who will never thought of giving up on you. Come to think of it, I seldom feel good after crying but just a moment ago I did. Sometimes when you are at the stage of despair and just by knowing your girlfriends/friends care will eventually light up your misery and even wet that pair precious.

Your 'humour' really did work *beams

*editted

It was Ladies night on Thursday which was also the final day for Caryn and Poh's finals and so we moved on with the plan. Maison. I really love being wild, ya know but in a well-behaved way, obviously. haha. I was so glad I even had the permission to be wild. There were Shal, Caryn, Poh, Mel and I during that night and we surely did have a fun night despite some unruly sights. I saw this couple dancing and were pratically rubbing on each another. *eww But since they might be couple I had to clear my mind off them.

One thing I dislike about Zouk was the crowd. Yes, it is fun to have a huge crowd dancing together BUT having body to body contact crowd could be a disgust.
This is real story and am I the victim to this nauseating incident. I was happily dancing with my girlfriends in the dancing floor and this blardy man came dancing closer and closer to my back and I could feel his sickening, boisterous piece of SEA CUCUMBER!! eww I tell you f**k I tell you. I WAS BLaRDY DISGUSTED!! and the rest of the story is history. He was so pathetic cause he was getting himself high in the dance floor. Get a BLARDY life!! CCB!!

That's when I started to love the podium even if I have to dance as a show or even if ppl say "what's that girl doing up there?she can't even shake her bum" LIKE F**K I CARE. I love the podium because no guys are allowed. End of story.

I got hit by this one guy during Maison that night and he was asking for my name and number. He insisted eventhough I rejected several times in giving my number. I told him that I would just give you my name and if we ever meet in Maison again, I would consider giving you my number and IF I ever see him again I would say "err, so long as I lived I don't remember you exist in my life" haha I'm so mean but then again he was saying he's from Klang and won't be back in 5 months. Even better. So he took out his pdA and probably thought I would give him by him insisting and by showing off his phone to me. bleh. What I actually thought was "are u gonna buy me a drink?" ahaha. I took his pda and shoo him off by inserting my name and e-mail in his phone. The last thing I heard him said was "you're so bad" =.= oh, I'm sorry.

He wasn't that bad looking and usually when this happen to me, I guess I would give him my number but I kept thinking of my bi~ bi~. haha. Don't perasan ah!
I guess there is an extent to everything when you are in a relationship depending on how you look at it.

I might be going Zouk tonight with Bi~ for some fashion show =D not to dance but probably act cool la huh? lol

I love walking in the rain because nobody will know I am crying

2006-10-30T01:14:00.000-08:00

Only today I realised that I cannot sleep away my problems like how I used to already. I would say it is half good and half bad. The good thing is I won't be able to run away, instead face it and the bad thing is, I have sleepless night. My mind keeps wandering leaving my eyes wide open. I supposed it is because you are becoming more important to me? who will know but myself.
Remember when I asked you if you will think it is a waste if we break up and you said yes whereas I said no? I think it has somehow hurt you but do you understand why I say no?

Even if we break up after being years together, it will definately not be a waste because you've marked my heart and I appreaciate it for we've given each another a chance to be lovers and learn how to feel each another's heart and to have taught each another different meaning of lives. I remember it wasn't love when we got together but slowly I found myself in love with you, I adore your humanity and personality but you know how we only reveal our true colours after a long period? I feel that you don't understand me, you don't take good care of me well, you don't pamper me, you don't let me win even when I'm wrong and you don't have the same taste as me and I started to feel agony. But the fact is, I'm selfish. I wish for more and I wish you could be up to my expectations. I admit that I've never really put myself in your shoe and feel your pain but I really did try to and fail. I can't control my mind and I'm always at the state of ambiguity and i know whenever I fall into a dilemma situation, the devil always win. I permit him to play with my mind and left myself suffer even more. So what if I know I'm wrong? I'll always think that I shouldn't be making the first move.

Besides that, I'm very bad in controlling my emotions. If only crying is a crime then I would forbid myself from tearing. I didn't know even this relationship could make me cry so many times when I thought I've found someone who will not let me cry but I know clearly that this is impossible. There won't be anyone at all who dares to make a promise to me on this because everyone knows I'm such a cry baby.

I cry when my dad scolds me, I cry when my brother doesn't want to let me watch the tv, I cry during departures, I cry when you ignore me, I cry more when you don't care, I cry when I feel lonely, I cry when I hear back songs like "she will be loved"and "over and over again", I cry when I feel that everyone has turned their backs to me, I cry when I have no one to run to, I cry when I miss my mum(last time), I cry when I've gotten all ready, even with my make up on and you cancelled everything, I cry most when I feel disappointed and realised that my tears are nothing to you, I cry when you walk away from me, I also cry when I notice there is still somebody who cares, I cry when I feel disgraced, I cry for too many little reasons.

I cry just too many times infront of you and I'm starting to feel really stupid because I don't think you feel the pain when I cry. I turn around when I cry, I walk away when I cry and whatever I do, I just don't want to cry infront of you anymore. Itz silly how I always say so but I will fall short. I'm still waiting for the day to come when you tell me you won't let me cry anymore. My tears are worthless already.

When I was walking in the mall, seeing a small kid holding on to his mother hand, I felt so envious. It was then when I hoped you could at least cheer me up with a lollipop.

Should I kiss dating goodbye, again?

pangkor

2006-10-28T17:08:00.000-07:00

Usually when I return from a trip I wouldn't miss home much and would even feel a little sad that I am home. But this time is different when I return from Pangkor, I feel so happy for being home again. I reached home during evening and got in time for dinner. The smell of my dad's cook made me go oh la la and I really think that my dad is a good cook. He started to learn cooking when my mom left and that time all he knew was plain bland dishes. And now, he is comparable to a big chef! =P

So anyways, Pangkor was overall fun but the beach there is nothing compare to Redang and snorkeling in Pangkor is like snorkeling in a toilet bowl full of shits =P Really!! The corals in Pangkor are like huge brown rocks similar to shit and nothing more except for plenty of sea cucumbers. I remember Shal once said that sea cucumber looks like man’s asset. haha
And there were only small beats of waves, why eyh ?

And you know what, I’m 10 tones darker!! Damn it!! All because of the tanning oil and I got myself uneven tones of color! Come see me and you will know I am not bluffing. I was so smart to put tanning oil when everybody else were applying 50spf sun block =S anybody wanna buy me whitenning cream for my birthday?

There isn't much to blog bout Pangkor, so some of the pictures here might tell you more stories =)

One big happy family =) All 26 of us conquered the whole bus =)

Bi~'s parents

Urgh.. I forced that smile...(nah) We were at some fish factory..

Come on Bi~ not in public! gimme some face k?

=P

*xiao it xiao* (smile a little) =)

There are more pictures but phtobucket is being an ass..

I have 5 subjects all relating to accounts this semester and 2 of the subjects marked the hardest because less than 50% of the senior passed for last sem.. Tell me, am i dead or what? If I don't see any of you guys for the next 16 weeks, you will know why =( My time table is so packed and everytime I return from college I'll feel like sleeping cause too tired. I know this won't be right but i'm still doubting on what I'm doing, wondering if my interest is in this field and that I'm capable in completing what I've started. As easy as it sounds, I should just marry a rich man. lol. (I'm just kidding Bi~)

I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna eat Baskin Robin this 31st. Anyone? come on =)

bye bye

2006-10-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

hey fellow readers!
I won't be blogging for the next 4 days, or more just like how I did not blog for the past 5 days :P a bit the busy lately as college has already started. I'm sorry for not being able to post pictures of my new ride too cause there are some unforseen problems with my pc suite and I don't have a memory card reader. Will share with you all soon. ;)

I'll be leaving for Pangkor in 3 hours time and hoping things will go smoothly. I really hope things will not turn out bad =( oh well, why waste time thinking on such things since we won't know what lies ahead, just don't do wrong or speak wrong. It'll be my first time in Pangkor and so I shall compare it with Redang..the blue blue sea and wide wide sky, not forgotten the high huge rocks! I'm expecting beautiful scenery there as well. I really hope our hotel faces east or west so that we can either admire sun set or rise ^^

Itz going to be an unanticipated trip as I'm going with Bi~ and his maternal family. People I hardly know and share room with someone i don't know at all. Whatever it is I'm hoping for the best and really wish that I can't get and play along with all of them. i shall not let my bi~ bi~ down. =)

I guess that's all for now and before I bid goodbye, i would like to wish SHAL,

A VERY HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

totally random the mandom the condom o.O

2006-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

"FUN FUN FUN!! Me wanna shop shop" is my msn after shopping at One Utama today. My nick says it all. It was really fun shopping and I haven't got enough of it yet. So when's next? Today, we didn't really have enough time to shop and look around though we did spot a few pretty ones. However, time wasn't sufficient for us to think twice. Well, you know..girls..

You know how people usually run out of ideas for friends' birthdays. I'll make it easy for you *winks with tinkles*

I want that red scottish skirt from Zara!! I want that MNG shorts (the top as well, if possible ;)) OR the one from Cult! I want another heels, erm two more 1)outings 2)clubbing (wahhaha) !!I want a new pair of comfortable, super ~~super~~ low waist jeans!! I love that denim jacket from Cult too! *eyes shine* oH not forgotten that white long sleeve top from Forever 21 ..

Thank you first.

OmiGosh, so perasan.. ahaha.. sorry first time SS.

So, all because of shopping today I failed to fetch my Bi~ home. I'm really sorry. I don't think I have good planning. Promise no next time okay? My tempura cold and soft dy, not nice dy but I still ate it, oh well..

College reopens today and my class commences tomorrow! This sem's time table is pretty tight because I have 5 subjects this sem and 4 days of classes a week and again Monday's offday. Friday's class at 8am so HOW TO GO FOR LADIES NIGHT? grr...nevermind I shall not sleep the whole night though quite impossible :P Oh I can just don't drink right? brilliant!

Oh, did I mention that my dad zhg my ride?Yeahh the old, rusty charade! It is recently sprayed with non metallic orangy red colour(itz ugly and freeaking striking!) Now the whole world's gonna think that I'm seeking attention with my ride ="( I would say the interior looks like a sports ride to me now for the newly wrapped red and black cover for the seats. I can see how much efforts my dad has put in for this o' charade and I really do appreciate it, hence, I shall drive it with pride! lols

I remember months ago when I watched "Pimp My Ride" with my sister, Li, we would both be fascinated and she would look outside at the o'charade and say "pimp my ride.. pimp my ride" empathatically.. haha..

Picture of my ride will be posted up next..

Till then...

2006-10-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

"Is there anything you wanna ask?"

"....no"

I wanted to ask how come you didn't give me a goodbye hug?

"Anything you wanna say?"

"...no"

I wanted to talk to you longer but I don't know what to say.

making love out of nothing at all

2006-10-14T03:01:00.000-07:00

=) This time I didn't cry, after getting down from the car without a goodbye hug(again). I actually felt silly for being still, sitting there waiting for him to come close and hug me. hah, really silly. And it didn't work, perhaps he hoped I would be the one to make the first move or maybe he thought I didn't need one. Itz really hard you know. Just a small number of girls who actually make first moves and I'm certaintly not one of them, somehow unfortunately. Nevertheless, I managed a smile, a console smile which hopefully works.

When he drove off, I stood there hoping for him to shift to reverse abruptly, make a halt at where he put me down, run towards me and hug me. hah, how silly. nevermind.

Relationships really suck when it goes out of control. So much of compromising needed and not forgotten compatibility between one another. I'm really really astonished with relationships which can last for years and still so lovable with each another. I don't mean married couples because marriage is definately different from being girl and boyfriend. I see a huger commitment you have to possess after a marriage.

sigh.

Did I just do a wrong thing again?

Maybe I should hug you first.

Then things wouldn't turn sour.

Then you wouldn't not answer my calls.

Then I will have good night kiss tonight.

Guess it is gonna be a sleepless night again.

Somebody come save me.

make me smile

2006-10-13T04:50:00.000-07:00

As expected, it was a silent journey back home. I've tried to make it up to you everytime when things seem to go wrong but this time I fail, miserably. I know I could make a different by holding on to my temper and be less sensitive but I acted like a princess instead. If I could turn back time, perhaps I would still act foolishly BUT was it really ALL my fault? You don't know what's on my mind and I don't know what's on yours either. All I wanted was a good laugh movie.

It happened twice when I felt you could actually read my mind and those feelings was so good that I've never felt it in a long time already. I would say it was plain coincidence though I hope it is something special between us.

"I want a rich boyfriend" "He has to be charming" "He has to have Tom Cruise's eyes" "No, He must love me with all his heart!" "I must be his first priority" "He has to be good in bed" "He should be understanding esp when I have PMS!" "Taller than me!! DUH!" "At least 6 pacs, 8 would be a plus" "

After today, only I realised all I wanted in you is CARE. I don't want lil lil care. I want you to be very very very caring! And that u're bothered even when I have lil cough, what more now I have bad cough. I'm sorry but I just couldn't stand it when you didn't bother to look at me when I was coughing helplessly and you know why I pushed you away? Because it was too late.
I just want to know if my friends can care me much more than you're able to, am I asking too much if I ask you to show a lil more care? I don't deny that I'm not a caring girlfriend but I'm trying my best already. Perhaps, you've put in a lot of effort as well.

I assured myself that guys are not all the same, but now I'm doubting again.

Can you wipe off the fog layering my eyes?

Cause I can't see clearly anymore...

Can you make my heart skip a beat again?

Cause i don't feel it beating anymore...

Tears welled up in my eyes. I hold on to my breath so they won't gush down endlessly. I really hope you could wipe my tears when I cry, embrace me tight when I feel disheartened. But you disappoint me over and over again. I want to hear you say "I care" cause even if you don't show, your words might heal me.

I'm actually feeling very sleepy and having headache again but I refrained myself from sleeping. For the past few months, I have been sleeping through my problems, hoping that I'll forget everything by the time I wake up the very next morning(...afternoon). But I just don't feel like sleeping today although tomorrow the sun will rise again.

Actually, I don't really feel like sleeping, instead I feel like going out, maybe yum char with a friend and just talk bout everything but relationships. But at this hour, who would wanna answer phone calls? Sometimes, I really don't know who to run to at this hour. All I can think of it ***!!!!.. niasing... urghh.. KILL ME!!

lovely lecturer

2006-10-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through Tarc's homepage and found this in the bulletin board posted by my programme supervisor, Ms Ng Yen Hoong. I thought it was rather interesting that her foreseeing is quite wild, hence I'd like to share with ya'll..

Wed, Jul 26, 2006 -- TARC is a non-smoking campus! (",)
Dear students,
Recently, I have bumped into a few students, who smoked in the college campus. For your information, TAR College is a non-smoking campus! Therefore, students are not allowed to smoke within the campus (regardless whether you are at Block R or Block PA or anywhere else).
I'm sure, right now, you are studying for your future, right? Imagine this:
---You have graduated from you studies (Dip + Adv Dip + ACCA)
--- You have started working and are at your peak of your career
---You hold the position of a CEO of a reputable company in Malaysia (or overseas)
---One day, you felt a sharp pain at your chest and went for a check-up. You are diagnosed with lung cancer.
What will you do? You will be regretful of what you have done to your body. Don't say "Aiyah, never mind-lah, I can quit smoking anytime I want...before it's too late!". Oh, really? How do you know when it's too late? And, smoking is addictive. The more you smoke, the more difficult it is for you to stop.
So, help yourself and your beloved family, stop smoking now. And, make TAR College a non-smoking campus.

She's so cute, oh so I think so.. All all her students love her..

Ms. Ng doesn't remember her students' names so when she happens to ask questions she would point at any students and says "you, yellow shirt...." "pink shirt...." "black shirt.....""you, white shirt..." and they will all eventually answer her questions. Then on this one day, a brilliant student came out with an impausible idea by asking everyone in the class to wear black shirt!! Ta-da, Ms Ng was surprised and she went red in the face! ; )

I can drive legally now proud

2006-10-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

I PASS!!!!!

H E E P H E E P H U R R A Y ! !

H E E P H E E P H U R R A Y ! ! ! ~ ~ ~

So what if u lose your P already? huh? huh? BLEKK!!

i'm sick =(

2006-10-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

After Maison on Thursday night, I woke up with a very coarse voice. No, in fact I was awake with NO voice and it eventually turns rough and 'sexy'. "Daymn" I thought but I knew it would happen cause I drink alcohol beverage with a gonna-be sore throat. =( BUT now it gets worst! I have cough and freaking nauseating phelgm! *cries Every now and then I have to "get rid" of the phlegm and it seems like never ending *cries more Today I woke up to find tom yum as lunch my dad readied for me and the thought of every inch of spiciness goes through my throat and that I'm not allowed to eat it makes me cry even louder. ="( wahhh.. I want TOM YUM! I TOM YUM !!

I'M CRAVING FOR FRESH TASTY FISHBALLSSS!!

Chill...chill...chil....

So anyways, Maison was great!! Two Thursday night continuosly and that doesn't mean I'm a hard core clubber okay. I just clubbing with my friends ; )

Yesterday's Moon Cake Festival, I celebrated with Bi~ and his friends at SS2, in a park and Daryl's house. We didn't play tanglungs but candles. Anyhow it doesn't bring much meanings anymore since the moon didn't appear all because of the freaking haze and it was a rainy night. Nonetheless, we had a fun night playing "007 BANG!" and Mafia which was a really great game and I shall recommend this game to my friends =) (however, it can get boring if played too many times).
We ended the game at around 5am and got back home at 6am. Needless to say I got up at 4pm.

If it wasn't because Shal called me, I would have totally forgot Ernest's birthday. I knew there was a dinner but somehow it sliped to the edge of my memory. And so I did turn up with Boon along and the dinner was fabulous but pricy. After the dinner, we headed to Caryn house and some havoc was going on. Caryn's blog says it all.

Happy Birthday Ernest Tong!!

To be frank, I don't think birthday celebration is a big deal anymore. Yes, I receiving presents, I reunion, I having all attention for once and I to feel . But as I grow older I don't feel the anticipation anymore though my birthday is drawing near and I don't bother mentioning it to anyone in college. I rather none of them know and that my birthday will just be any other day. I might feel sad and lonely but I know I want this. Actually, the person we really have to celebrate with is our mums as without them we simply don't have birthdays but I don't stand this chance anymore. I hope there will be this one day to come when I spend my birthday with my mum the whole day. We would first wake up for dim sum then spend the whole afternoon doing spa, enjoying, relaxing both body and mind. At night, I would bring her to a posh bistro and both of us would taste delicious recommendations. If only I have the chance but even if I do, I hope I could still feel the existing bond. =) What I want for birthday this year is just to feel great from everyone who remembers my birthday. I will have a small celebration.

me want to be pampered

2006-10-05T01:18:00.000-07:00

I can't find proper words to describe my feelings now. Maybe a lil of despair and frustration. Every woman loves to be cheered and pampered, hence I know clearly that I don't run far from this fact. I was an independant child(still is) and am strong to face any challenges ahead but a strong cover could hide the trueself in me. I definately don't need you to buy jewelries to make me smile, neither do u have to pluck down stars for forgiveness. All I need was.... I don't know. Who knows a swarosvki diamond would really make my day. =/

I dislike silence and stillness what more during an arguement because I know I'll always end up weeping. And I SUPER DUPER hate it when my brother goes "are u crying? u crying arh? eyh why la?" when he could already see my eyes red and a huge sign of DND or u die right on my forehead! pppftt.. But obviously, I would just glare and he'll get the signal.

I told myself several hundred times not to be such a cry baby but I just can't hold my tears. There were times when I suceeded by telling myself not to cry, hold on to my tears, breathe in breathe out but later found it terrifying the fact that I just talked to myself. Well, itz not atypical after all. I wish I have the habit of talking to myself so I can pour all to my reflection. Then, the mirror will be my buddy and it will not just play a role reflecting a pretty girl, me. (haks!)

Ahh, I feel much better after some typings =)

Tomorrow will be the same old boring day. sigh. I don't remember when we last dated. =/

*The greatest mistake in your life is that you continually fear that you'll make one

Malacca!

2006-10-04T04:21:00.000-07:00

Holler peeps, I'm back from Malacca, one of the many historic places of Malaysia's (yes, I assume you do not know). I wouldn't say the trip was remarkable or fun because we spent quarter of the time looking for affordable stay. However, I was glad to be able to makan makan makan again. From chicken rice balls to taiwan mee to satay luk luk to sushi to asam laksa to chicken rice balls (again, but different place) to satay luk luk(again, different place and fresher) and back in KL, had Kopitiam's nasi lemak before going back home.

On the journey to Malacca, we saw an accident. Bi~ was alarmed only when he saw a white helmet in the air and quickly stopped the car by the road after a rapid agreement on helping from Leslie. I was afraid and stupefied. They(bi~,Leslie and Daryl) hurriedly carry the victim to the road's shoulder to avoid traffic or even the victim being trampled. There were two riders on a motorcycle, I assume the motorist lost his balance or the road was icy. I did have a look at the victim after a long hesitation and couldn't let grip of bi~'s hand. I didn't want to stay in the car alone though it was already raining simply because I started to have wild imagination. After some while, the police came and since we've done our parts, we decided to continue our journey. It was like a dream and till now it doesn't seem like it's happened. When I looked at the victim, I felt really frightened and that was when I knew I was afraid of death. I simply couldn't face it.

Another unforseen accident happened to us which I do not want to share here. Itz just too saddening. Is it really true that cats have nine lives?

The rest of the journey followed by hotel-hunting and a short break at a mamak in Cheng Ria.

The following day, we were joined by the rest and our first stop was Jongker Walk and boy was I disappointed. I would rather go to KL's longest pasar malam at Tmn Connaught and stalls hop. There wasn't many things to see, perhaps more on souvenirs and I don't have a vivid memory on others items. I had asam laksa and sushi for supper as well as satay celup. The next return day, we visited A Famosa and even ride on a trishaw! kewlness to the madness huh? There were 10 of us, each 2 on one trishaw and 5 trishaws moving together-gether =D Though it wasn't a long ride but it sure was satisfying.

A few memorable encounters..

Hotel-hunting-went all over Malacca (almost) more or less stopover 10 hotels.
A VERY not welcoming toilet at the mamak!
We were on a straight road and each traffic light stop we met the same car, Storm for bout 5 times.
The help for the accident.
Bi~'s really loud snore~ =.=
I heard there were a strip poker session? All 3 or 4 guys stripped naked? (daymn, missed it)
Bi~ stole the apartment's pillow.
And last but not least, one bottle of beer was 'left' in the apartment. (nyek nyek nyek)

sreammmmm

2006-09-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'M BURNING RIGHT NOW !!!
you have no idea what I've just faced!
I just walked under the scorching sun for 20 minutes with NOTHING TO GAIN!!
I was supposed to pay the astro bill and so my dad sent me to the post office and drove off as he had to send my brother to school. "Fine" I thought since I was the desperate one to settle the bill to WATCH THE TAIWAN SERIES AT 3.30pm and SINGAPORE SERIES AT 4.30pm! NOW, my hopes are vanished into thin air after the phone call I just made to reconnect the astro! They said, they will reconnect back for me by 8.00pm tonight!(which means, they might connect at 7.59pm or in the evening!) *burns* "WHYYYY ??" I asked desperately and the connections are worked with the system and not manually was the RUTHLESS ANSWER !
NOW I CANNOT WATCH BOTH OF THE SERIES AND HAVE TO ROT THE WHOLE DAY UNTIL TONIGHT (clubbing, hehe)

THIS IS SUPER DUPER DEPRESSING !! ALL FOR NOTHING !!!

AND for your info, I'm still sweating like a pig, I smell like I just came back from a Jogothan Walk ..

NMMDCCB !!! wahhhhh ...

This is excellent...
Now I'm gonna shit and bathe..

BLAH.....

*I'm sinking*

Spill the truth when you're drunk!!

2006-09-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most of us have tried acting like a nuisance unintentionally. Cheers over and over again even when we know we have more than enough to consume, just to have a lil more fun. We may have kissed the wrong guy, hugged a stranger or even made up with a guy who left you the very next morning. I'm starting to agree that alchohol can lead a person to misbehaviour or even 'do wrong' things.

But, that's not exactly the point. Have you ever tried spilling the things which have been burried in your heart, never wanted to share with anyone while you're drunk?

I never knew this could really happen, saying things you aren't really supposed to say when you're drunk until it happened to my dearest. I never expect you to be so emotional, so fragile and so weak inside. Obviously, I wouldn't share with my readers on the things you secretly told me ; )
I will always remember the things you never wanted to tell me but spill accidentally.

"Experts say most of us have about 14 friends-two we'll never lose, the other mainly social satellites."

we love you, you know it

2006-09-25T03:35:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I'm sorry that I don't blog at Fantastic Four anymore. I feel that having a personal blog makes me more secure. It is easier to express myself.

Secondly, I've changed the whole theme for this layout- Imperfect Love, simply because I find it a lil disturbing and inappropriate. I'm facing lovey dovey love. haha.
I was choosing between two, 1 dark layout which is this one and 2 a bright light brown layout. Although I'm not unhappy or whatsoever, I will still prefer dull and lower colour. So, this layout has been picked!

Just a few hours ago, it was Yen Li's departure to UK. I've never really left any loved ones behind and fly so far away, therefore I wouldn't really know how she was feeling. But I bet it must be mutual with her loved ones. Everytime I sent someone off, I never fail to imagine myself being the one who is flying, leaving everyone behind and now knowing if there will ever be a return. Most of you know that I've always wanted to leave this country, just screw everything here and start a new life. Easily said.

No where is better than homeland.

I love exploring the world, going from one place to another to learn and gain fantastic experience but I surely hope I'll still remember where am I from. So many stories of discrimination in certain countries and I hate the fact that I want to leave here for another new life. However, I know that there will be this one day to come when I won't want to leave this place anymore.
We don't know what lies ahead us.
Who knows some of my friends will migrate over and marry a rich foreigner?
(yeah, free accomodation during holiday!)

If I'm not mistaken, in two years time, there will be left with a few of us, closed one here only and I'm pretty sure I'll be the "left" here one. lol. Screw it. I don't wanna think of departures anymoree!!
Yens and Jas coming back end of the year. We shall have a good drinking session =)
P/s Yens, u better get your blog alive and update us with updates! ; ) do take care.

Ken said : Man is at his sexiest when shed tears.

miss me? no?

2006-09-24T00:10:00.000-07:00

Since I'll be having 3 weeks of holiday I've decided to make my blog alive, again (yes AGAIN). So once my 3rd semester commences, don't blame me when my blog dies, again.

Exams season has finally come to an end which means it is merdeka for most of the tarc-ians. It is pretty unfair to those who finished their last paper a week before ours because that means they have an extra of one week for holiday!

Finals were pretty fine except for a few subjects and BM was one of them! *roars
At such critical conditions would you ever thought that "ranger" in malay language is "RENJER"? And "divers" is "PENYELAM PENYELAM" ? dyamn.. I answer ranger as ranger and divers as penyelam only. This is for the interpretation section where the question is on a short English essay and basically translates the whole passage to Malay language.

Fortunately, Macroecons and Business Information System and Applications went well for me because mostly all that I've studied were the questions. *evil laugh* As for Quantitative Studies, I practically screwed up because I didn't have enough time!! The paper was not too difficult but requires more time to finish! Damn it! Not a single soul didn't complain about time deficiency.

On the last day of exam, everyone was feeling excited more than nervous. Frankly, I can't really click with my college mates and don't really share feelings and emotions. Hence, right after a paper, I would rush my way to the train station and quickly get home. We all know about the snatch cases in wangsa maju and I have to walk a distance to the station from college. The roads are narrow, a lot of motorists and very unsafe. There was once I experienced an incident while walking my way to the station. This motorist purposely came closer to me to scare me! I almost tripped to avoid any misfortune! Then I heard laughter and cursed. Who will know how I feel whenever I walk alone. My friends choose to wait for the tarc bus instead of risking their life and undeniably, I am risking my safety to choose walking over waiting. My heart skips a beat faster every time I hear the sound of motorcycles being near. Fear and insecure.

Hereby, I proudly present myself driving to college next semester!!

That's IF I pass my driving test =O

t h e y d o n ' t k n o w m e

miri part one

had ur nutritious drink yet?

i wish i could be with my sisters

the bottom line is, i have a dead tooth in my mouth.

everything is going to be alright, there will be light for me to search my way out.

hightlight-"ers" of the night

i still want a swift =(

this is where i belong

the closure

what miracale tastes like

happy to make you happy

need some help

thought at the moment

wine? ribena please

dear me

and another day passed

drinking wine alone

more to say but this much for now

day trip to York

haven't been this far from home

_ u _ _ _ r _ r

don't let me stone, or .........................

madigras

my weekend

its about time

holiday! =)

grrr

here you are =)

thinking a lil far ahead

what's your story like?

i have no proper time management!!

yes i'm back =)

=E

the impossible

i can't sleep!!

thank you

no goodbye kiss no goodbye hug

wonders

boring thursday

yeah!

happy go lucky!!

who knows?

happy results, a little impact

my thursday

simply.....

fcked up cny

come back to me =(

2007

Santa is in town!

thank you!

TAGGED!!

my birthday

the graduate

i thank you first

too close to be broken

bye bye zoukout

depressed, am I

I love walking in the rain because nobody will know I am crying

pangkor

bye bye

totally random the mandom the condom o.O

making love out of nothing at all

make me smile

lovely lecturer

I can drive legally now *proud*

i'm sick =(

me want to be pampered

Malacca!

sreammmmm

Spill the truth when you're drunk!!

we love you, you know it

miss me? no?

I can drive legally now proud